There's someone i know... who's better at me in everything. And that kinda distresses me a lot. *sigh* I lashed out at them earlier today because of it. I feel like shit over that now. Im such a shitty person. I wish they wernt so nice, it would have been easier if they just told me to fuck off. With other people this wouldnt be a problem. I know i suck. But with this person its hard to deal with this feeling. Dont know why i get like this. I guess cause im in love with them. Which makes it worse, im bitter and resentful towards the person i love, who's done nothing but be nice to me. Wrong way to treat someone you supposedly love, so add guilty on top of everything else. Maybe im bipolar, it seems like i can go from being depressed at how they will never return my feelings to yelling at them and whining about how much im jealous of their life, then depressed again for losing control and hurting them. Its not like this is a frequent occurrence, only 3 times i think, but thats enough. I dont know how to deal with this. When ever i notice that they're better at me i get jealous. Not just of their talent but at their life in general. A lot of things i find fun arnt being very fun anymore. All i can think about is how worthless i am and how they completely blew me out of the water in these games. I just cant compete with a fucking prodigy like them. I use video games to distract me from life and depression though, so its problematic. Complaining about something like this. God im so pathetic. What to do? edit: hell i dont even know why or what im asking or what i expect from this thread.