Jewish New Year/Holiday season coming up and more depressed than ever

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by mbczion, Aug 18, 2013.

  1. mbczion

    mbczion Well-Known Member

    Rosh Hashana (the Jewish New Year), Yom Kippur, and a couple of other Jewish holidays are coming up in a couple of weeks. From September 5 (Rosh Hashanah) for about 3 weeks, in Israel it is the "holiday season" (the equivalent of the end of November-January 1 in America).

    I am supposed to be looking forward to this period. I am also supposed to be doing self reflection of how to work on myself and make myself a better person for the next year. How do I want to change my life? How do I want to work on myself? What do I keep on doing that I want to change and stop doing or start doing?

    However, I am NOT looking forward to this holiday season. This is also a family season when families are together (like Thanksgiving and Christmas in America). However, my family is being torn apart. I am going through an impending divorce and my STBX (soon to be ex) couldn't care if I live or die. It is going to be SO hard for me to see all these families happily celebrating the holidays together, while my family unit is being shattered.

    I am also so full of anger that I am having trouble self-reflecting.

    I was depressed as it was, but now with the holiday season coming up here, I am even more depressed:Cry:
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Holidays are the worse time hun i am sorry you are having to go through it alone. Is there any one you can reach out to so you can get some support I come from a family torn apart and it is hard but in time hun you learn to cope to change to make a new path Hope you continue to post here ok so we can support you through this holiday hugs
     
  3. mbczion

    mbczion Well-Known Member

    Thanks total eclipse. I won't be TOTALLY alone, as I have my kids, but other than that I feel like I need to put on a charade. I don't even feel like I can speak with the community Rabbis because they all know my STBX and I as a couple, not just ME as an individual and I don't feel like I can speak with them about my STBX no holds barred. Ditto for people in my community. I have only lived in my current community as married with children, so people from the community don't know me as just ME either.

    However, this community has grown on me and I have no desire to move, especially since our ten year old daughter is doing so well in school here. Even if not for my kids though, this community is a perfect fit for me. The holiday season is just going to be painful for me. I hope that as the years go by, maybe less and less painful.