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Jim's Cafe 1st March 2021

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OfLoveAndDeath

Of ❤️ and ☠️
#1
Hey all, hope everyones having a great day/night/timeless void.
I volunteered to open the cafe today so here I am.


So todays theme is about nostalgia. Because who doesn't love thinking back to the better times when happiness seemed achievable and the crushing weight of being alive didn't seem like too much to bear : )
So here's to looking back at better times and hoping to have good times to look back on again in the future.


So, questions, those are important.. I think.
1) What's a song that makes you feel nostalgic, something you hear and basically flash back to a better time?
2) Are you a nostalgic person? Or do you tend to always be looking ahead?
3) What's a good memory that you look back on fondly? Feel free to go into as much or as little as you like.
4) What was the "best" time of your life? Why?
5) Do you think that in 5-10 years you'll be looking back on where you are now?
6) What's something you own that has a lot of nostalgic/sentimental value to you?
7) Do you ever try to "relive" those times.
8) Do you think we look back at the past fairly? Or do we see things as better, or worse, than they actually were at the time?
 

Witty⭐️Sarcasm ⭐️

Renegade banshee
SF Supporter
#3
1) What's a song that makes you feel nostalgic, something you hear and basically flash back to a better time? Not sure about a particular song, but I think classic rock and oldies in general tend to do that.
2) Are you a nostalgic person? Or do you tend to always be looking ahead? A little bit of both. I long for the past and worry about the future.
3) What's a good memory that you look back on fondly? Feel free to go into as much or as little as you like. Any time I spent with my grandmother and other people I care about.
4) What was the "best" time of your life? Why? When I was a young kid, things weren't too hard for me yet.
5) Do you think that in 5-10 years you'll be looking back on where you are now? If I'm still here and hopefully in a better place.
6) What's something you own that has a lot of nostalgic/sentimental value to you? A rug my grandma made me.
7) Do you ever try to "relive" those times. Sometimes but then I get stuck in reality again.
8) Do you think we look back at the past fairly? Or do we see things as better, or worse, than they actually were at the time? I think it's a mix of both. We think it was simpler but there were challenges back then too.
 

KM76710

Kangaroo Manager
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#4
1) What's a song that makes you feel nostalgic, something you hear and basically flash back to a better time?

Quite a few fit for me, just about anything from the 1970s especially. The Bob Seger song Night Moves especially because in 1978 when I turned 15 in December one of my female cousins who was 10 years older was visiting asked me what I wanted for birthday and Christmas and me being a hormonal male... She taught me a lot about how to satisfy women.

2) Are you a nostalgic person? Or do you tend to always be looking ahead?

I am more wistful than nostalgic, but both do come up. I look ahead more now because the bulk of my days are behind me now.

3) What's a good memory that you look back on fondly? Feel free to go into as much or as little as you like.

Definitely the above with my cousin. LOL

4) What was the "best" time of your life? Why?

When I was younger and it looked like my career would go in a great direction but with IT changing non stop, things just eventually went South, BUT for a while it looked like I would do very well. Another plus was my mom was alive and she was one of the few people I have ever felt close with.

5) Do you think that in 5-10 years you'll be looking back on where you are now?

Probably so, but my life stays pretty constant and unchanging over the years.

6) What's something you own that has a lot of nostalgic/sentimental value to you?

There are a couple of things, my grandfather's cut throat razor(straight razor) kit that he taught me to use which is still how I have and a couple of perhaps 80 years old cast iron skillets from my grandmother, she taught me how to cook.

7) Do you ever try to "relive" those times.

Not really, but there are times and a couple of people I would not mind revisiting or knowing how things went for them.

8) Do you think we look back at the past fairly? Or do we see things as better, or worse, than they actually were at the time?

Better and worse at the same time. I just some of my past harshly, but at the same time I am typically more generous to those I knew decades ago.
 

Dante

In the SF doghouse with Burt
SF Pro
SF Supporter
#5
1) What's a song that makes you feel nostalgic, something you hear and basically flash back to a better time?
Some old Christian tunes remind me of trips over to my grandparents when they were still alive and I was still tiny. It was a half an hour trip and it would always be the same Christian music in the car for the trip. We loved it though, repetition is good for kids.
2) Are you a nostalgic person? Or do you tend to always be looking ahead?
ALWAYS looking back to what I had, always stuck in the past.
3) What's a good memory that you look back on fondly? Feel free to go into as much or as little as you like.
Its kind of strange but some of my fondest memories were during my deepest depression. As a method to combat depression I tried to create the best possible memories, at first at least I figured I could beat depression by just having the best time possible, then by helping as many as possible, then I shut down but thats another story.
I remember a girl who came to live in our flat one year, she had had a terrible time, she got drunk with a long time friend, they slept together and HE accused HER of rape and everyone bought it. She was kicked out of her home, they wouldnt even let her have her possessions back, she was socially isolated, shunned, homeless, she ended up screwing up her degree because of it, and had to take 3 part time jobs to make ends meet. She was a wreck, and I wasnt great either, but I found that when I helped her, cooked for her, got her medicine, looked out for her, invited her into my friend group, it made me feel a little better. I still treasure that.
4) What was the "best" time of your life? Why?
To have a best time, I would have had to have a good time. I have had some great moments, but no good periods in my life. Even now when I try to think back to a time in my life where I was happy. There arent any.
5) Do you think that in 5-10 years you'll be looking back on where you are now?
Yes, its what I do, and I will be looking back in disappointment that I didnt do more with my time.
6) What's something you own that has a lot of nostalgic/sentimental value to you?
My Great Great Grandfather's pocket watch, it caught my eye when I was small and my grandfather gave it to me along with some stories about this man who embodied the stubbornness that runs in my family, so stubborn even the Nazis got fed up with him and caved. Now THATS a man to respect.
7) Do you ever try to "relive" those times.
I did a few times, but it always feels hollow and painful, more of a reminder of what I dont have anymore than a reliving of what once was.
8) Do you think we look back at the past fairly? Or do we see things as better, or worse, than they actually were at the time?
I think I see things how they were for the most part, though I do try to romanticize as much as I can, it helps to have good memories, even if they are fake.


ALSO, ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DO TOMORROWS CAFE, REPLY WITH "I VOLUNTEER" IN AS LARGE AND COLOURFUL LETTERS AS POSSIBLE!
 

extraterrestrialone

untwisting the pretzel
SF Supporter
#6
Hey! 😊
happy to see and happy to be here... thank you OLAD

So, questions, those are important.. I think. agreed

1) What's a song that makes you feel nostalgic, something you hear and basically flash back to a better time?
the first one to come to my mind happens to flash back to a non feeling time - being a kid “at play” in my back yard. but i guess that happiness lives in that it is music to my ears as in music doing what it does best, finding the happiness - it was playing in the neighbor’s yard. its ‘Ue o Muite Arukou’ as sung by Kyu Sakamoto. its a sad yet inspiring song. nonetheless, that time was a happier time.

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwimmvrNko7vAhXxYN8KHUPTBIEQwqsBMAF6BAgFEAg&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DC35DrtPlUbc&usg=AOvVaw3S7D5P9Tu1F9RqkxEMBWeS
2) Are you a nostalgic person? Or do you tend to always be looking ahead? there was a promise in the past. i don’t know what it was but it was for the future and i can’t help thinking that finding it there in the past will brighten the future. is that nostalgia?

3) What's a good memory that you look back on fondly? i’m so confused about this. what seems so good might be bad. what seems bad might be good. help me! Feel free to go into as much or as little as you like. i know - what i just said was too little and maybe too much.

4) What was the "best" time of your life? Why? there was a happy surprise party for me planned by a couple young girl employees when i was about to leave, that was probably the happiest time. they put custard pie in my face and gave me a plush bear. made me cry!

5) Do you think that in 5-10 years you'll be looking back on where you are now? i’m kind of hoping i will. but i worry about it.

6) What's something you own that has a lot of nostalgic/sentimental value to you? there are spirits living in those items i have and i have many hidden away or hidden in plain sight. its all real to me and lives and helps me survive.

7) Do you ever try to "relive" those times. bleep no! they ask, would you do it all again. nope! i’d do it all different for sure... except for that surprise party and maybe a couple other little things

8) Do you think we look back at the past fairly? Or do we see things as better, or worse, than they actually were at the time? much distresses me. am i being not fair by being distressed? ok, i love my parents. it does not mean that they did no harm. there is a balance. is having a difficulty knowing the balance not being fair? is there a device for knowing? i know so many have suffered more. what will make my own feel less? i am as fair to the past as the past was to me when it was the present.

not accustomed to coming to the café so early but look whats coming...🌞🌞🌞 good night all and good morning too😊
 

JMG

~ Crazy Cat Lady ~
#7
Tysm for tagging me @OfLoveAndDeath and for opening the cafe :)

Hey all, hope everyone's having a great day/night/timeless void.

Lol. Sometimes it is the timeless void one yes. Glad to say it's not today though at least. It is night here, 12:36am to be exact cos I know everyone's day just won't be complete without knowing the exact time it is where I am lol :p ;)

So, questions, those are important.. I think.

I agree, I'm always glad when there are q's, esp. fairly easy/fun ones like these! Great job, will answer them now ;) :)

1) What's a song that makes you feel nostalgic, something you hear and basically flash back to a better time?
Gangster's Paradise from the movie "Dangerous Minds" cos it was a song my friend & I loved a lot. Oh and also "Change the World" by Eric Clapton from the movie Phenomenon. My friend & I both had such a crush on John Travolta it was hilarious cos we were like 12 so he was way too old for us but we didn't care we thought he was hot lol :p

2) Are you a nostalgic person? Or do you tend to always be looking ahead?
Sometimes, I really try not to be though because I don't like to dwell on things that are already over. I try to just remember the good things and be grateful they happened and hope there will be more days like them in the future :)

3) What's a good memory that you look back on fondly? Feel free to go into as much or as little as you like.
Going to California when I was 15, getting to go to Disneyland, Universal Studios and some other places in California, going to Spain in 2005 for a couple weeks, anytime I've been able to live with a cat.

4) What was the "best" time of your life? Why?
Sorry but not very comfortable with this q because I think if a person is thinking of things that way then they are not being grateful for the moment they have right now. I mean if there is a major extreme kind of situation/difference between 1 time and another then I understand that kind of thing of course, but ya for me there's always been good and not so good. It's far easier for me to say the "worst" time of my life which would be from ages 11-14.

5) Do you think that in 5-10 years you'll be looking back on where you are now?
I. Do. Not. Like. To. Think. About. 5-10. Years. From. Now. I. Do. Not. Think. That. Way. Sorry.

6) What's something you own that has a lot of nostalgic/sentimental value to you?
Lots of things really but especially my Disneyland sweatshirt and Mickey mouse pen that I got from Disneyland when I was 15. The sweatshirt has been washed so much that I'm afraid to wear it any more, but I will keep it forever. The pen hasn't worked in years but I will never get rid of it either because I love it and it has very positive memories for me.

7) Do you ever try to "relive" those times.
No, kinda difficult to do when you're broke. If I had the $ though? Sure! Want to go to California again anyway so ya I think that'd be awesome to see Disneyland over 20 years later. Really want to go to Disney World too since I've never been there.

8) Do you think we look back at the past fairly? Or do we see things as better, or worse, than they actually were at the time?
This is kind of a hard thing to answer I think but I like to think I have a pretty accurate memory of it. The important thing is to not let the emotions that are attached with the memory to cloud the facts. I try hard not to do that cos then I don't miss them so much when I remember what else was going on, the other stress I had as a result of such things or just stuff like that. I think I am good at keeping them real because I make a conscious effort to do that. Don't think everyone has an equal level of desire to do that though.

happymarchcl.png

;)
 

SaFa61947

Kaiser Franz
#8
Thanks for volunteering. I enjoy answering questions on the cafe.

1) What's a song that makes you feel nostalgic, something you hear and basically flash back to a better time?

A song by ABBA - Chiquitita

My parents owned an LP when I was 8 and we listened to it before going somewhere I don't remember. The song stuck in my head. When I hear it, I remember those times when I was a kid.

2) Are you a nostalgic person? Or do you tend to always be looking ahead?

I am nostalgic. Always in the past, reminiscing.

3) What's a good memory that you look back on fondly? Feel free to go into as much or as little as you like.

My parents sometimes wouldn't do anything on my brother's birthday, or they planned to make a party in the weekend and the birthday would pass blank. Once I saw this happening and asked my brother to go with me celebrate his birthday. We went to the supermarket and bought some chips. He seemed happy and I felt good about myself.

4) What was the "best" time of your life? Why?

The best time of my life is also the most hurtful to remember. I had friends, I had a girlfriend, I was working, life was good. It was in high school, 20 years ago. I lived in a place I liked too. Good times.

5) Do you think that in 5-10 years you'll be looking back on where you are now?

I do. Sometimes I remember how I spent my 20s depressed and I think of the chances I threw away because I was stuck on the past. I'll probably do the same in my 30s. It's regretful.

6) What's something you own that has a lot of nostalgic/sentimental value to you?

I had a black coat with a hood. It was stolen from me. My brother had a green one he didn't like much so he gave me his. It's on the chair near me right now. I have it with me at all times.

7) Do you ever try to "relive" those times.

I tried but I have no skills for making friends. I guess school plays a part in it. It's hard to make friends in adult life. So I keep thinking about the past, how happy I was and I had everything I ever wanted.

8) Do you think we look back at the past fairly? Or do we see things as better, or worse, than they actually were at the time?

I loved this question. I don't think people look at the past fairly. Actually there's evidence that as we recall things, we paint our memories according to our perspective now. We might aggrandize some things, and paint darker some other aspects, human memory is unreliable in this aspect. We make a painting and usually it doesn't reflect the reality. I've witnessed this just this weekend.

I found the road and the house I lived when I was 15 on Google Street View. I had painted it as an idyllic place with perfect streets and everything was beautiful. Google Maps showed me the street is the same as many others, it's not special at all. Only the bricks at my old house are the same as I remember. The housed seemed smaller, you know, "common".

I am against taking photos but I'll try to keep some from now on to prevent my memory from playing this trick on me and painting memories more beautiful than they really are.
 

Auri

🎸🎼Metal Star🎼🎸
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#9
Hope everyone's having a beautiful day! *stars *grouphug2

1) What's a song that makes you feel nostalgic, something you hear and basically flash back to a better time?
"Beyond The Matrix" by Epica. The album came out when I lived in Sweden, I bought my copy in the cutest metal record store in Helsinki (aka, heaven on Earth), and that song just makes you happy, it's very uplifting and always reminds me of those times. I kept singing it with my friends there. :p


2) Are you a nostalgic person? Or do you tend to always be looking ahead?
I'm not sure, I think I'm average nostalgic. I have my moments, but then I quickly remember that thinking about good moments from the past makes me sad. I do hope for a better future, most of the time.

3) What's a good memory that you look back on fondly? Feel free to go into as much or as little as you like.
Alright, I'm not gonna mention when I lived in Sweden or my day in Helsinki AGAIN. :D So when I was 18 (actually the week of my birthday, so 17-18), I went to visit my family in Norway for the first time - the part of the family that I like and they like me. Wonderful week, even though it was quite rainy. We visited a few places, I took a walk in the forest with my cousin, I listened to my cousins play music (they're all metalheads), they showed me Game of Thrones before it was popular, lol, we celebrated my birthday... It was just peaceful, my idea of perfection. I love and miss those people...

4) What was the "best" time of your life? Why?
My 6 months in Sweden. Only time I can refer to as a "good time". Mostly because I was away enough from my family, but also the amount of stress was way lower so I could actually care about myself (the lifestyle is generally more caring of mental health imo).

5) Do you think that in 5-10 years you'll be looking back on where you are now?
Sure, but hopefully I'll be happy not to be in that 'place' anymore.

6) What's something you own that has a lot of nostalgic/sentimental value to you?
Some music records and some gifts. I'm also attached to my books. Oh, also all my stuff related to and bought in Finland, lol.

7) Do you ever try to "relive" those times.
I don't know, I don't think so, it makes me sad. I'd rather be grateful for what I have now and just hope for a better future, because it's always possible.

8) Do you think we look back at the past fairly? Or do we see things as better, or worse, than they actually were at the time?
I think we view it through a pessimistic lens. The good times, we look at them as if the feelings related to them were unachievable anymore, and the bad memories, we tend to emphasize.
 

Sunspots

To Wish Impossible Things
Safety & Support
SF Supporter
#13
Thanks for opening @OfLoveAndDeath :)

I hope everyone is doing okay today *hug

1) What's a song that makes you feel nostalgic, something you hear and basically flash back to a better time?
Seven Seas by Echo and the Bunnymen.

3) What's a good memory that you look back on fondly? Feel free to go into as much or as little as you like.
It's actually to do with the song above. My brother and I went to see them playing at The Royal Festival Hall. We were right down the front squished amongst thousands of sweaty teenagers. We were singing along to the song "my face among them, kissing the tortoise shell" but my brother changed the words to "my face among them, getting squashed like hell". It was just a silly little thing but it's really stuck in my head.

3) What's a good memory that you look back on fondly? Feel free to go into as much or as little as you like.
We'd just moved into a little cottage. It was in a terrible state having had squatters in there for a year but we knew with a little love it would be beautiful. I fell pregnant with our first child shortly after and I spent my whole pregnancy up a ladder with a paintbrush in my hand. By time he was born the house was finished and we had our little family. It was the best few years of my life.

5) Do you think that in 5-10 years you'll be looking back on where you are now?
I hope I won't look back on the last few years but I hope I look back at this point and see it as a positive start to a new life.

6) What's something you own that has a lot of nostalgic/sentimental value to you?
Things that I've brought back from my travels. A dish from Morocco, some driftwood from Greece. Most importantly is a baby box that contains little keepsakes from my babies - scan photos, locks of hair, the first thing they wore, their first shoes...

7) Do you ever try to "relive" those times
I think it would now be physically impossible for me to relive having my babies lol. But I still get huge pleasure from going to see live music.

8) Do you think we look back at the past fairly? Or do we see things as better, or worse, than they actually were at the time?
I think it's probably a bit of both depending on the events.
 

OfLoveAndDeath

Of ❤️ and ☠️
#14
1) What's a song that makes you feel nostalgic, something you hear and basically flash back to a better time?
There's quite a lot, so I'll just pick one at random

2) Are you a nostalgic person? Or do you tend to always be looking ahead?
Perhaps a little too nostalgic some times. Preferring to look back on good moments, doubting that the future holds many

3) What's a good memory that you look back on fondly? Feel free to go into as much or as little as you like.
Some of the best ones were in high school having friends over on the weekends and just playing videogames all day and listening to music. Good times.

4) What was the "best" time of your life? Why?
Probably early high school when I didn't have to worry about anything and could just do whatever I wanted. But the happiest was probably when I'd turned 18, because I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be around much longer. Ironic

5) Do you think that in 5-10 years you'll be looking back on where you are now?
Well considering how I'm doing now, definitely not in a positive light if I am.

6) What's something you own that has a lot of nostalgic/sentimental value to you
I had to really think for this one, maybe the painting that I bought at the end of 2018 while I was in that happy/dark part of life

7) Do you ever try to "relive" those times.
Sometimes. Not even always on purpose. But probably not often enough, or often enough.

8) Do you think we look back at the past fairly? Or do we see things as better, or worse, than they actually were at the time?
Hindsight is a gift and a curse. I think we generally see the good as even better and the bad as even worse
 

Baywasp

I want wind to blow
SF Supporter
#17
1) What's a song that makes you feel nostalgic, something you hear and basically flash back to a better time? A lot of songs have memories attached to them, but the concept of a "better time" is really complicated for me.
2) Are you a nostalgic person? Or do you tend to always be looking ahead? I'd say I'm really nostalgic. I'm constantly looking back, especially to my time spent in San Francisco, even though it was only for 2 and a half years and a lot of those times were pretty rough.
3) What's a good memory that you look back on fondly? Feel free to go into as much or as little as you like. I very frequently discuss the boat ride in Geneva with my host family as one of the best times in my life, but the memory I have of it now is more like a vibe than anything else.
4) What was the "best" time of your life? Why? If I'm allowed to use a microcosm, I was the happiest I'd ever been when I was on my trip to France and Switzerland when I was 16 or 17. But that was only about 2 weeks of my life.
5) Do you think that in 5-10 years you'll be looking back on where you are now? I'll definitely be looking back on it, but I don't know if I will remember it fondly or not.
6) What's something you own that has a lot of nostalgic/sentimental value to you? I have a hat that apparently looks just like one used in the movie Stuck On You. I've never actually seen the movie. IDK if it was a prop from it or if someone just had them made, but I found a few at a Goodwill thrift store in my hometown and thought they were funny without knowing of any connection to a movie, so I bought one for myself and my best friend who was along with me. That was right before she moved away going into high school. I've seen her a few times since then, but it still makes me smile thinking of her.
7) Do you ever try to "relive" those times. I would but IDK how.
8) Do you think we look back at the past fairly? Or do we see things as better, or worse, than they actually were at the time? Memories are weird things. I feel like most people's memories get distorted in varying ways. I tend to romanticize my past, to the extent that I can be fully aware of how rough a time in my life was and still somehow miss something about it. Maybe it's screwed up nostalgia or maybe it's feeling like I deserve to go through those bad things. I don't know.
 
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