Jim's Cafe June 15th Friday

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Aurelia

πŸ”₯ A Fire Inside πŸ”₯
SF Supporter
#1
So since yesterday's cafΓ© thread didn't have as many replies as we would have hoped, let's try to turn that around with today's.

It's Friday. So all of you fuckers should be in a good mood. But just in case you're not, the main topic of this thread is going to be jokes.

If it was up to me, it'd be inappropriate jokes, but it's not. It's up to the goddess @Freya and I highly doubt she'd approve as she does not enjoy extra paperwork, so please keep it as PG-13 as possible. :)

Feel free to help me out with tags here, and of course, food, alcohol, and drinks.

@walker95 @Innocent Forever @gypsylee @Kalicka @Ash600 @Woowoo @Witty_Sarcasm @Bluetoo @HumanExMachina
 

Walker

Admin
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#5
so please keep it as PG-13 as possible. :)
[/USER]
If that isn't a set up, I don't know what is.
Look at you, opening the Cafe. All this time I've been tagging you and you don't show up and now you're the party.

In the interest of "no reports", this is my contribution, straight from today's inmate news.

Ok, what's green and fuzzy and has four legs... and if it falls out of a tree - you're dead?
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a pool table.
 

Aurelia

πŸ”₯ A Fire Inside πŸ”₯
SF Supporter
#9
If that isn't a set up, I don't know what is.
Look at you, opening the Cafe. All this time I've been tagging you and you don't show up and now you're the party.

In the interest of "no reports", this is my contribution, straight from today's inmate news.

Ok, what's green and fuzzy and has four legs... and if it falls out of a tree - you're dead?
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a pool table.
I've always been the party. What are you talking about? ;) The party is wherever I'm at. I just happen to be here at the moment.
 

Witty_Sarcasm

πŸ¦„πŸ¦œπŸ§πŸŒˆπŸŒπŸ’–
SF Supporter
#11
I am always happy when it's Friday, but not so happy that I have sunburn. Had it a few times already this year, and trying not to get it anymore. It says as pale as I am, I have the highest risk of skin cancer and melanoma. So I need to make sure all vulnerable areas are covered in sunscreen.
 

Aurelia

πŸ”₯ A Fire Inside πŸ”₯
SF Supporter
#15
Why did the picture go to jail?
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It was framed.



Police Officer: "How high are you?"
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Pothead: "No officer, it's "Hi, How are you?"


Why are inmates so angry all the time?
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Cause they have bad cell service.
Haha. That second one made me laugh my ass off.
 

Aurelia

πŸ”₯ A Fire Inside πŸ”₯
SF Supporter
#18
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says, "Five beers, please."

Schroedinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

Pavlov is sitting at a pub, enjoying a pint. The phone rings, and he screams, "Oh shit! I forgot to feed the dog!"

Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." He doesn't react.

There is a band called 1023MB. They haven't any gigs yet.
 
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