Job Killing Me

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#1
My job is killing me. Panic attacks every morning, unable to sleep at night, can barely eat during the day, urges to let my hands slip off the wheel on the way to work, crying as soon as I park my car and fighting the urge to just drive away and never come back.

Haven't gone in 2 days. Praying for FMLA leave due to severe anxiety and panic attacks. If I don't get it I just won't go back to work. I'd rather be unemployed than go through this every single day. I'm on the verge of SH or crashing on purpose in the morning. This job isn't worth my life and my sanity. I can't do it anymore. I just can't.
 

Pennylane-

Well-Known Member
#2
Hey Lightening,

I can completely relate to this, I've found myself feeling like that many times, on a practical level can you take some time off sick to look for something else? Are you independent? Or do you have a partner you can financially lean on for a while?

I'm the sole provider in my household, I resigned from a very stressful but very well paid job last year, I would say now that I'd burned out after twenty five years of living to work. I'm freelance now and to be honest it's very hard financially but I earn enough to get by.
I found when I was worked all of the time I spent a lot of money just to keep me working all of the time, convenient food, caffeine and cigs. I found that I could live on a lot less than I thought I could.
After a year's 'break' I feel just about ready mentally to get back on the horse, health permitting. I hope to be a bit more sensible about it, and find a more sustainable balance in order to increase my incomings without heading for another burn out, we'll see.

Could you do something similar?
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#3
@Pennylane- I actually got a job offer at a new company today - talk about timing. I live with my boyfriend and he can handle finances for a bit, but we are having some issues right now and if he leaves I'm screwed. Luckily I got the new job so if he does leave I still have income.

I'm on FMLA now this week but knowing I have the other job I may not go back to work. Or I may go to another doctor on Monday and see if I can get my leave extended. I'll keep doing this until I leave for the next job. There's just no way in Hell I can handle constant panic attacks on a daily basis. Thanks for your response and you give me hope that everything will work out okay in the end.
 

Kiwi2016

🦩 Now a flamingo, not a kiwi 🦩
SF Pro
#4
Hi @lightening05.
I can totally relate to what you are saying and first no job is worth your life. I was able to take a 6 week FMLA for stress and just needed to have my GP complete some paperwork so was fairly straightforward. Does where you work have a similar program? Having that time did help as i was able to evaluate my options with some time to breath etc given a highly toxic work environment. I also wondered does your company have an employee assistance program as that was how I found a therapist for stress and I have continued to see him. I did end up "retiring" in February and since have been taking classes for hopefully a 2nd career...as I just needed a complete break from what I did before.

Just please take to heart you do matter and you arent alone as know others here will have thoughts advice and support. Sending you hugs as know how hard this is and encourage you to keep posting.
 

Kiwi2016

🦩 Now a flamingo, not a kiwi 🦩
SF Pro
#5
@Pennylane- I actually got a job offer at a new company today - talk about timing. I live with my boyfriend and he can handle finances for a bit, but we are having some issues right now and if he leaves I'm screwed. Luckily I got the new job so if he does leave I still have income.

I'm on FMLA now this week but knowing I have the other job I may not go back to work. Or I may go to another doctor on Monday and see if I can get my leave extended. I'll keep doing this until I leave for the next job. There's just no way in Hell I can handle constant panic attacks on a daily basis. Thanks for your response and you give me hope that everything will work out okay in the end.
Great news...just saw this...:)
 

moxman

The "Perfect Life" YouTube channel is neat
SF Supporter
#6
I'm happy for you that you got a new position. They are lucky to have someone as wonderful as you working for them.
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#7
@Kiwi2016 thanks for your response. I actually took an FMLA leave earlier in the year due to the same issues. The current therapist I saw was being very difficult and only gave me off this week even though I explained that at work I'm suffering from discrimination, intimidation, defamation of character, and just generally being treated like shit. I am going to another doctor Monday to see if they will write me off for longer.

Getting this new job was a blessing I did not expect. I interviewed with this company in July as I was trying to escape my current one. One of their employees quit and they want me to fill the spot so that's so much relief right there.

Just trying to figure out if I should return to my job at all. They hate me. If I give 2 weeks they'll really make my life hell!
 

moxman

The "Perfect Life" YouTube channel is neat
SF Supporter
#8
@Kiwi2016 thanks for your response. I actually took an FMLA leave earlier in the year due to the same issues. The current therapist I saw was being very difficult and only gave me off this week even though I explained that at work I'm suffering from discrimination, intimidation, defamation of character, and just generally being treated like shit. I am going to another doctor Monday to see if they will write me off for longer.

Getting this new job was a blessing I did not expect. I interviewed with this company in July as I was trying to escape my current one. One of their employees quit and they want me to fill the spot so that's so much relief right there.

Just trying to figure out if I should return to my job at all. They hate me. If I give 2 weeks they'll really make my life hell!
I wouldn't return to your current job if you're just going to be abused emotionally. You're emotional health is worth more than that.

Just focus on your new job and go into to it emotionally rested and ready to kick booty.
 

mpk

Well-Known Member
#10
lightining05, good for you that you found a new job. I know what you feel when you talk about a job that causes anxiety and panic attacks. I suffered from those at my last two jobs. I am currently just squeaking by on the pension and wife's disability yet that is causing stress also.
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#11
@mpk I'm really sorry to hear about your struggles. I don't think anyone understands how horrible it is to work for a job that causes you that much anxiety until you're actually in that situation. It makes even eating and sleeping difficult and creates a vicious cycle of constant misery and exhaustion. If you are looking for a job I wish you the best of luck!
 

tlarson

Well-Known Member
#14
I to find myself in an unbearable work situation,been there 20 yrs.new manager and charge people as of 5 years ago,rampant favortism and hostility towards those who are not in favor.Horrible situation\
 

lightning05

Well-Known Member
#15
@tlarson I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Work stress is awful and starts seeping into every aspect of your life. My former job also has favoritism and uses intimidation tactics for those they don't like, which they usually don't have a reason for. I hope you can find something else soon and get out of that hostile environment.
 

mpk

Well-Known Member
#16
Congrats lightining05 on you new job. I am also looking for a new job yet my situation is different as I am unemployed. I just can't seem to motivate myself into looking. It is generally 15 minutes everyday mon thru Friday.
 

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