Jobs and Sobs. I need Advice.Insight.Whatever you have to offer!!!

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by raychel_in_wonderland, Jul 22, 2013.

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  1. I'm not really sure if this is the right forum for this? Sorry if it isn't! Don't hurt me!!



    Since January I've been unemployed. I've been going through a serious depressed episode and I'm no where near out of it but my parentals are putting on the pressure of getting a new job. I'm still unsure if I am mentally able to handle that....but it is almost out of my hands at this point. Parentals are just tired of paying my bills.


    Here is the dilemma I'm currently facing. And I'm sorry if it sounds like a stupid problem to have but for me it is a cause of extreme anxiety and stress and the cause of A LOT of tear shed.

    I'm 24. I am a college graduate. and I have 2 degrees. I have one in Culinary Arts and one in Hospitality Administration (hotel and restaurant management). My last job as a restaurant manager (and the one that sent me into my spiraling depressed episode) left me absolutely despising everything about the hospitality and restaurant industry. It was and still is considered a "great job that is fully descriptive of what is is like to be a manager in a restaurant". Essentially, it is how it would be to work in any restaurant.

    So, I have the Culinary arts degree. Which leads me to working in the kitchen side of things instead of management. But those jobs are so high stress and face paced that I know at this point in time, right now, I can't handle that and would end up worse off than I am now.

    Which brings me to where I am now. I could walk into any restaurant around here with my experience and get a waitress job. And first and fore most I want to say I am not dissing any waiters or waitresses reading this. Know that!!!! I have this pride monster in me that is telling me "You are too good to do that. That is beneath you, and you should be ashamed of considering that as an option". And of course I listen to the damn monster. And part of me does feel like that. Like, I went to school and graduated and i shouldn't be a waitress.

    I feel so stuck. I can't do management again. I won't. It was miserable. I worked 15 hour days 5 days a week. Every weekend. Every holiday. I lived there basically. But I can't bring myself to take a job that is "beneath me". Which is what I would be able to handle.

    One of the main reasons behind that is I live in a small town. And I know everyone. I would be so ashamed when people walked in and I'm their waitress and they ask..don't you have 2 college degrees on your belt? I wouldn't know how to respond. "oh I'm bipolar and I went to a psychiatric hospital and tried to kill myself so i'm just trying to not do that daily, what would y'all like to drink because i would love a beer right now".

    Help. Advice. Insight. Knowledge. Anything. PLEASE.
  2. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    While jobs themselves may seem challenging to get, in the current economic climate and such, it may come as no surprise that you may need to swallow your pride and take a step back down to get into working if that is the area you would most like to get into (given your degrees it sounds like a passion of yours).

    Management in many sectors may vary with skills and knowledge required, but the basics are, for a lot of them, long hours, long weeks, very stressful environments.

    There is no shame in admitting you feel like this. But for me, if I was in your shoes, I'd prefer to be in work than not. So for you, I'd advise you to think long and hard. Do you prefer working to not? If so, any job is better than none.
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am unsure why an entry level job in your field would be a step down, and certainly not a step down enough that is justifies feeling stressed over or more embarrassed about than not working. My wife worked as a waitress at a Perkins all through college and after graduating with a Masters degree in Education she still worked as a waitress summers while a teacher to supplement income when school was out until she had enough years seniority to get a job teaching summer school. The longer you go without a job and the longer in a completely unrelated field the less likely your degree is going to have real value. If friends are looking down on you for working they are not friends, and if they are not friends their opinion has no value.... just my thoughts.

    Starting part time would be a good way to decide if you are ready mentally to resume full time work and to prepare yourself mentally to consider applying for a full time management position in the future. Good luck to you and I hope you begin feeling better as you go back to work and regain self esteem from the small setback.
  4. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    especially in this economy there is no shame in taking a paying job where you can get it

    a lot of teens can't get work at mcdonald's right now because older folks in need of work are taking the jobs

    such a glut of workers on the market there was even a mcdonald's in maine that would only hire people with a bachelor's degree - ridiculous but there it is

    if you can get a service job you can ask to try out your skills once a week or once a month to show what you can do - maybe turn it into an mini-event

    sounds like you have the skills, now you just need to make yourself some opportunities

    would love to here how it goes - my niece is just starting at the culinary institute of america
  5. Thank y'all for the replies. I really do appreciate it.

    Part-time is what I've been browsing for. And I'm really unsure if I even want to go back to restaurants. Maybe Hotels might be the way for me to go... I've never worked in one so maybe that would be the fresh start I needed. It would still be in my degree field but would be a change of pace.

    As for friends...I don't have any. I've become a loner. So they aren't the problem. I am. I'm the only one really viewing myself in the negative spotlight. :/ One of my biggest problems, I know.

    I know economic times are really rough and people all over are taking jobs they don't want to. I don't want to come off as some ignorant prick who refuses to work "below myself" because that is not the case at all. Physically I can handle the stress and long hours of a management job. Emotionally, I'm not there. I always worked longer and harder (all through college) than anyone I know. At one point I was working 4 jobs while going to school full time. So, I know I can handle..or could at some point.

    The last job (which I guess going into it I wasn't in the most secure place mentally..before I even started the job I was starting towards my downward spiral) just stripped me of any confidence I ever had in myself. Like, completely gone. I guess that is where I have to start. Reminding myself that I am competent enough to do what needs to be done.

    I almost wish I would just wake up Manic tomorrow and just freaking do it already. It's like I get to fill out the application or update my resume right now and I just stare at it like it is the resume of a different person. It isn't even me any more. All the jobs, awards, and previously held positions in Texas Chefs Association and American Culinary Federation are like a foreign language.

    I don't know. I need to work. There is a lot to be said about being a productive member of society. And i sure do like money....But I've never liked working. I liked impressing others with what I could do/handle. That's what got me through school and working multiple jobs. Because people were amazed at how much I could handle (i was manic through most of my college years). But now, I don't even care anymore and I can't figure out HOW to care again.

    Oy. Just thinking about it makes me want to crawl back into bed with a xanax.

    There is this voice in my head that says "Just fucking do it, damnit"

    And then another voice that says "You're just going to fail again".

    I need to find a million dollars in the road :p
  6. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    ((Raychel)) thanks for letting us inside.. that is no small feat gal.. to be real and take down the walls for a bit is really good and wholesome.. hope we can live up to your trust here..

    hope one of these day you will get ot updating your resume and venturing back out into this wild world.. feel safe enuf to just do it and start hon.. agree maybe part time is a safer way to start again..slowly maybe build up some confidence in Raychel.. take care and we will be aound if needed just to have a friendly voice or two sometimes near..
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