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Josh's request thread!

Discussion in 'The Coffee House' started by itachi, Feb 24, 2009.

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  1. itachi

    itachi Well-Known Member

    Dear Powers Of SF

    I hereby Request that you imediately change my title on this forum the rather inappropriate, "Senior Member" to the more Acurate and slightly more modest title of "Ninja Extraordinaire".

    I did Not go through 5 years of ninja Accademy and 3 world wars to be known as "Jas_656 - Senior Member" thankyou very much.

    each morning i have to get up and defend the world from the Tyrants that are known as "Samurai" before i even get to have breakfast.
    Not to mention try and keep my loyal but easily distracted army of monkey ninja's in line. which i assure you is a mission in itself.
    Though they make amazing ninja's they have the attention-span of a teaspoon which can sometimes endanger even the simpleist assignments.

    Sometimes i think my life would be so much easier if i was spiderman, then thoughs cheeky bastard Samurai's would really get what is coming to them.
    I regularly hang out around nuclear test facilities and scientific gene-splicing laboratories hoping to be bitten by one of the local spider population, in a hopeful attempt of making my life just a little bit easier.
    Maybe then I'd have enough power that i could dispatch my enemies efficiently enough that i would have time to go out partying in the evening. (not to mention the ladies would be all over me, i mean i Ninja-Spider Superhero! who could resist that!) but Alas, so far all my best laid plans have been in vane.

    I do not ask much.
    I would just like the recognition that i deserve for keeping you all safe. Saving the world isnt easy you know.
    and to be called "Senior Member" after all my trouble is rather insulting.
    So you can either change my title like i humbly ask of you.
    Which lets face it is a really small price to pay.
    next time the world needs saving, next time you are all invaded by the Samurai, or the Martians, or the next time there is a Vogon Constructor Fleet ready to end life on this insignificant little planet.
    Do me a favour,
    and save yourselves for once.

    Love You All, Hugz & Kisses
    JosH. - (Ninja Extraordinaire)
    xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo :wink:

    (messages of support, or small donations welcome.)
  2. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni


    Ta for the laugh, mate!
  3. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    i second this request !
  4. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    thirdeded!!! do it! do it nao!
  5. itachi

    itachi Well-Known Member

    thankyou for your support wheresmysheep & soliloquise your loyalty will be rewarded in the end.

    Sir Abacus, i don't think you are taking this serriously, you seem to be thinking that i am joking about all of this.. but i could not be more serrious.

    this is no longer just a request. its now an issue of national. NO! World, security... I have just got off the phone with President Obama himself, he was pleading with me not to stop protecting the world and said that without my expertise in certain area's the world would fall into madness, you hear that? MADNESS! , is that what you really want?.

    In the name of World Peace, please grant my humble request.

    JosH - (Ninja Extrodinaire)
  6. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

  7. bipolarkitty

    bipolarkitty Well-Known Member


    Thank you Mr. Ninja Extraordinaire for saving us time and time again. What would we do without you? :biggrin:

    I think your title should be changed immediately. :smile:
  8. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    :eek:hmy:Kitty haven't seen you in ages.
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I always thought ninjas did not want to be seen. If we displayed that you would no longer be incognito and all the enemies would know exactly where to find you. So much for the element of surprise my dear ninja extraordinaire.
  10. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    ooo gentlelady got you there jas :tongue:
  11. itachi

    itachi Well-Known Member

    I have never needed to disquise the fact that i am a ninja, on the account that if anyone wants some they can come get some.
    yus you heard right.
    this is a call to any and all villains and troublemakers you can find me at:

    112 Kings Place
    New Zealand.

    come and give me your best shot.
    I'll beat your ass dead.

    anyway, anyother reason which i don't care if my anonimity is compromised is the fact that it makes it so much easier if they come to me...
    you know how much of a pain it is when say, the Destructo base is located in Arctic Russia?
    You know how cold it is there?
    I have to fly a good 12 hours there, get off the plane, then freeze my ass off..
    no I'd much rather advertise the fact, then they can come to me and save me the trouble.
    aside from that fear is another Ninja weapon.. if they all know that im here and waiting maybe just maybe some of the dickheads would wise up and and not start something for once.

    With Love and Kicks.
    JosH - (Ninja Extraordinare)
  12. itachi

    itachi Well-Known Member

    I beg to differ.
  13. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    So why do ninjas wear black and try to use the element of surprise as one of the major weapons? Don't you watch the movies? Sheesh!!!
  14. itachi

    itachi Well-Known Member

    first of all...
    Ever Heard of Naruto Uzumaki?
    didn't think so.... wiki him ;)

    secondly... you are way behind the times...
    you are talking about ninja's from early japan... hundreds of years ago...
    times have changed and ninja's have adapted.

    If stupid Hollywood directors want to depict Ninja's how they used to be..
    its not my problem.
  15. bipolarkitty

    bipolarkitty Well-Known Member

    Thank you Kiana. I wasn't sure if anyone knew I was gone. It makes me feel good that you noticed. :smile:
  16. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    You mean Beverly Hills Ninja isn't the way it is? Such a disappointment. My kids will never be the same. What about Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtles? :blink:
  17. itachi

    itachi Well-Known Member

    they were real... but sadly being turtles they moved a tad slow... shredder (or whatever his name was) destroyed them rather quickly.

    and guess who then took out Shredder?
    Yours truly, thats who...

    all i wanted to be was a average ninja, lead an average life, have an average family, and retire into a comfortable house and teach the grandkids to carry on in my footsteps...

    Instead i get thrust into the middle of all this bullshit and then get called "Senior Member"
    its so irritating.
  18. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    It just means you are experienced. Maybe we mean you are the most experienced longest surviving ninja extraordinaire of them all. You never know what is going on in the minds of the purples or pinks.
  19. itachi

    itachi Well-Known Member

    it doesn't even have to say "Ninja Extraordinare", "Ninja Squad Leader" would be fine to...

    and i know someones going to go and ask that stupid question of,
    Ninja Vs. Pirates

    well here is the answer...
    Yes, Pirates have guns..
    Yes, Pirates have ships...
    but they also all wear eye-patches, therefore they have no depth perception, now i mean come on... what is the point in having a boat if all you are going to do is crash it into an Island coz you can't just the distance...
    why they bother with guns i just don't know... the stupidity astounds me, they always accidentally shoot ther own pirate buddy who's trying to sneak up behind the ninja.
    its even more pathetic because of course this is exactly what the ninja was expecting... i mean why waste a Shuriken if you can get them to shoot eachother..

    now i need a ninja nap, my secondary job as a supermarket worker was rather trying today... yea, i know what you are thinking... a ninja who works in a supermarket? wtf?, but ninja work is all volunteer stuff these days... and ive got to pay for the Kunai and smoke bombs somehow.

    i hope you will have given me my title by the time im back... coz i might get grumpy...

    and you won't like me when im grumpy.
  20. sarahg

    sarahg Well-Known Member

    jas u know woman warriors rule lol
    behind every superman is a greater super woman
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