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Judgmental people...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by LightInTheDarkestNight, Jul 26, 2011.

  1. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    Don't judge what you don't understand, I've been there and done that.

    This world needs less judgment and more understanding...

    I'll be the first to admit I was sort of a jerk when I was an adolescent, I was ignorant to other people and how my actions effected them somewhat insensitive. I didn't have the capacity to put myself in others shoes therefore I was callous at times. As one gets older they and experiences more things they can the ability to empathize better, this is in part from ToM(theory of mind)

    Even two year ago after I'd been harmed a lot I became somewhat of a non caring jerk when that isn't who I really am. To me this was situational in the sense we are all remade as we go through life as we interact with others. Like the one quote goes "for every asshole out there, there's a girl who made him that way"... If one feels they've been cheated or not treated properly when they were genuinely nice, treated someone properly and had very pure intentions, one is more prone to being a jerk themselves. This isn't right if someone is a nice, compassionate, gentle person they should be regardless. That's not to say we don't respond to the world around us because we do... If you get harmed, and harmed, and treated cruelly over and over it takes a very strong person not to get bitter and become at least a bit of a jerk themselves, for the short term anyways. We all react and are effected by the world around us.

    A family member was telling me about a Jewish man held in the concentration camps he actually felt sorry and compassion for his captor(s). Sending love to someone who must have a lot of hate and harshness in them takes a special kind of person.

    Many people hate or fear what they don't understand which isn't the right way to go about things...

    They say when you judge someone you don't define them you define yourself...

    I wholeheartedly agree with this one can never get insight into another's life, every experience they've had, their thought process, their pain therefore you're looking at one's life from a very narrow view. You basically define yourself as ignorant.

    For example when Jesus died he said "forgive them for they know not what they do"... They were ignorant to who he really was, they were controlled by their minds(egos) unconsciously driven.

    Another example is people who have been discriminated against they can recall this from their innate emotional intelligence and are much more likely to empathize with others who have been as well... People who have never had to deal with being discriminated against are much less likely to empathize with someone who is. In that way if you haven't dealt with discrimination you're much more prone to being insensitive to others and discriminating against others.
  2. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    thanks for posting this :hug: you make some really good points - there is such a lack of understanding and thought for others in the world - we could all do with a reminder sometimes of many of the things you say here :hug:
  3. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    I loved these two statements best; all in all a sincere, heartfelt post (I'm judging here, so I guess that defines me ha.).

    I like how you have taken time to look back in the past and recognized how you could have been better to others in the past. What matters to me is you're a new and improved you and the past is behind you. I hope others (possibly loved ones) who may have been turned off by your behavior back then can realize this. :hugtackles:
  4. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    You're welcome, we're all in this world together so we need be conscious of not being overly judgmental. We're separate beings from one another but also so very connected. Being considerate of others feelings has largely been lost by many in our society today. Thank you for the appreciation :)

    haha you're judging in a nice way so that defines you as a understanding and non judgmental person :)

    Yes I've certainly made quite a few mistakes however I'm so much more then the sum of my mistakes. We as humans are always changing and growing as we interact with others, therefore the identity I had when I made some mistakes is not who I am today. Also there are many situational or external factors which come into play in ones life. I'm going to cover that in an another thread I post. The actor/observer bias tends for observers to attribute other's behaviors to stable dispositions in their character or identity yet when factoring in one's own actions external and situational factors are always taken into account.

    http://www.lucifereffect.com/ is what I'm referring to "Understanding How Good People Turn Evil". It basically covers social influence and how the authors views are that there isn't anything IN individuals (dispositions) in people that make them good or evil, that it merely is the situational or external factors which largely influence one's behavior. Social influence can be a very strong tool used to manipulate and influence others thoughts, opinions and behaviors intentionally or sometimes even unintentionally. Even one person can have a very strong influence over someone, let alone a large group.

    In a sense being too nice may actually be one of my flaws. Sorta like the youtube video "nice guys finish last", that's a good video if any of you have a few spare minutes and haven't seen it I suggest checking it out.
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 1, 2011
  5. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Very intuitive reply from you! I like it! :hug:

    If anyone's interested in checking out "Understanding How Good People Turn Evil," here's a direct link to LightInTheDarkestNight's post. :)

    Also, I too will be sure to check out your post in the Soap Box soon. ;)