Julian

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by GabrieleSeth, Sep 27, 2009.

  1. GabrieleSeth

    GabrieleSeth New Member

    it's been many, many years since I buried my brother. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him. i think of the good times, the bad times, the serious and not so serious. important and mundane, it's all has merit.

    some days are tolerable but the majority of them have been nightmarish; a passing thought, a sentimental song, or an old photograph brings tears to my eyes; the crying leads to self mutilation, and the self mutilation leads to misunderstandings.

    i've looked all over for succor from the pain: counseling, drugs, alcohol, sex, therapy but in the end...I cannot overcome the hurt and loss I feel in my heart.

    i want to be close to my brother again, by any means possible and somedays, I feel death is the only option.

    all i want is to hold his hand and know everything is going to be ok.
     
  2. Shadowlands

    Shadowlands Official SF Hugger Staff Alumni

    That is hard, but you must stay strong! He lives in you now. :hug:
     
  3. ~PinkElephants~

    ~PinkElephants~ Senior member

    Gabe, I know it's hard to get over the passing of Julian. especially since you were close to him and he was a brother. No matter how old he was when he passed he wouldn't want you to do something like end your life. He'd rather you live for him since he can't do that. I know it's hard to go day in and day out without him but sometimes it's the only option. I still have you on yahoo if you still have the same screenname, my pm box is also open. PLease don't hesitate to use it.

    Kells
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    My brother died last october and i too miss him greatly Please understand your brother is with you and wanting only happiness for his sister . He would want you to go out and live your life with happiness Have you ever had grieve councilling it does help you move on sometimes. I am sorry for you loss and understand your pain i do but we must move on and remember that is what our brothers would want us to do. sending some support your way:hugtackles::grouphug: