Jumbled Thoughts

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by RainbowChaser, May 20, 2007.

  1. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    I can't fight it anymore.

    Last night, a friend of mine cut for the first time. It eventually reminded me of the promises I made at college - not to start cutting and not to OD.

    No-one made me promise anything about this tho.

    I've been fighting this for almost 3 and a half years. If anyone knew what I was fighting, they'd have known I was doing well with it without asking, even if I was doing it in an unhealthy way.

    But I can't fight it any more. I don't have the energy. And I know I'm letting numerous people down by doing this, but none of them know what the problem is in the first place - by the time they work it out I'll be so deep in that dragging me out will require strength that I don't even have now.

    If this works, at least people won't judge me so badly for being ugly.
  2. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    They didn't make me promise not to use that method tho - thanks member-who-I-won't-name-just-in-case-I-get-my-arse-kicked-for-it. Looking at my own map, I might have to walk a while to get to a place where it would work, but it'd be worth it - I wouldn't have to worry about fighting my secret anymore.
  3. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    I just told someone. Damn.
  4. Tara

    Tara Guest

    are you okay now?

    i dont know what to say really. You told someone? isnt that a good thing?

    I hope you are okay, *hugs*
  5. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Sammie :sad: :hug: :hug:

    Please dont hurt yourself in any way :sad: I'd miss you :sad:
  6. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    Not really - people can't judge what they don't know.

    Luckily for you I'm too much of a coward :dry:
  7. Sakura

    Sakura Well-Known Member

    Sammie... o.o

    Talk...now...please :hug:

    What happened hon? What's happening? Please tell me so that I can be there for you...no matter what you have now decided to do :hug:

    Last edited by a moderator: May 21, 2007
  8. Tara

    Tara Guest

    me all over. :dry: :sad:

    .... But how do you know the person you told will judge you? they may be wanting to help u get through this.

    i really hope u are feeling okay this morning. <3 :hug: