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  1. Last night I attempted again, but it obviously failed and I got alot of people involved in the situation...more than I wanted. I would have liked to been left alone to die and everyone would be happy, but it didn't happen that way and now I've fucked up once again. So I failed last night and I planned on attempting again tonite, this time with a better plan, then my brother decided that he would drag me to churchand the topic that was discussed was very triggering to me and just made me more upset than I was before I got there, making me want to go through with my plan even more. I decided that I was going to have my brother drop me off at a "friends" house and then walk to the bridge that is over the river and jump, hoping that it would do some sort of damage or put me out of this life. I asked him to do it and he said no, as if he knew my plan, so I thought, well, he will come home tonite and I can take his care, leave him a letter telling him where the car is and everything will go as planned. That hasn't happened brother didn't come home tonite, he is staying with a friend, so I've decided that I'll wait another night and when he comes home tomorrow, I will take his car (once he is asleep of course). I feel like there is no purpose for me being here anymore, and all I can seem to do is fuck things up so I know it's my time to go, finally. Relief.
  2. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    God says it is not your time yet..

    any attempt will fail... he loves you and he is putting these obsticules in your path to keep you from trying.

    i am here if you need me just pm me ..

    love you..:hug:
  3. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Jacque... :sad: Please don't do anything, be safe, be strong, easier said than done, I know, but try... You know how to reach me if you need anything.. :arms: x x
  4. Jess

    Jess Guest


    :hug: :hug: :hug: I hope you're ok hun. Sorry I wasn't there for you.
  5. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    :sad: I really hope you're ok, Jacque.

    I'm around anytime. :hug:
  6. Darkness N Light

    Darkness N Light Staff Alumni

    Please rethink what you are wanting to do. We all love you here and we do not want to see you hurt. I know that I do no want to see you hurt or gone from this world. I know that things are rough for you. I am here if and when you need me sweetheart. Please take care and I love you very much so. :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss :hug: :cheekkiss

    With Love,
    Crystal :hug: :cheekkiss
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Jacque it is not your time. Instead of expending all your energy trying to think of ways to die and how to carry out your plans, us that same energy to figure out how to live. What needs to change in your life to make things better? I know you were going to seek help at one time. Did you ever complete that step? you had a wonderful goal of trying to become a nurse. Have you taken any steps to begin that process? Things will not change on their own. If we don't take the steps necessary to help us out of this hottible situation, we will remain here forever. Depression makes it very hard for us to look beyond what is current and let us see what could be in the future. We have to take our lives into our own hands, with the support of friends, and start shaping it into the life we want it to be. Don't quit Jacque. :hug:
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