jus wana scream

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by tappa, Jan 23, 2011.

  1. tappa

    tappa Well-Known Member

    im my own worst enemy
    tried gettin fit for new yrs. failed. now eating myself into oblivion along wiv pretending everyday im doin ok etc etc.
    fuckin shite.
    my footie/soccer coach rang me the other day and asked if i cud play today and i sed yea cus didnt wana let him down. now i gta run around for 90mins messing up and lettin the team down.
    he thinks i've bin tryin to get fit so he's expectin more.
    dnt wana let the girls down in the team so gta turn up and do as asked. but im shit and jus ake mistakes and feel like crying and tearing my hair out right now but gta go put a smile on my face keep thr frustration of me being a complete failure inside and keep tryin.
    i went on chat last nite and some ppl after hearing my moan about my pathetic situation told me straight im a dick and not helpin myself. i cudnt handle it. the ppl tht try and b supportive even wen they agree wiv ya admitted wat a loser and a failure i am. lmfao cud it get much worse!
    everythin went reli tits up last nite i cut the crap out of my stomach in a somehow way of punishing myself for being fat and not trying hard enough. i even failed doing tht. yea i cut but it wasnt even half as deep as i wanted.
    anyways theres my lil online scream now i gta go put myself through a few hours of fuckin hell and :)
    Lets hope i crash.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    So sorry you are feeling so awful...just sending my hugs and caring...J
  3. Ravenwing

    Ravenwing Well-Known Member

    You need to stop listening to what people who don't know you might say about you. People do not realise just how much damage their words can do. I hope you are feeling a little bit better now. :hug:
  4. tappa

    tappa Well-Known Member

    na i went and did shite suprise haha.one of my fuck ups lead to a goal and one of my team mates went mental and had a rite rant at me. i started cryin on the pitch lmao how fuckin pathetic am i. i pretended i was fine tho obv.
    wats the fuckin point of everythin.
    god jus ignore me im on a rite rant now. gta go pick up a friend in a min then go to bed for work tmoz fun fun happy happy happy
    happy happy happy
    happy happy happy
    jus gta b happy
    god my life is jus so pointless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    u guys get so upset and frustrated bout not havin a job and all tht and i take it for granted. it doesnt make u happy. scared nothin will .