im my own worst enemy tried gettin fit for new yrs. failed. now eating myself into oblivion along wiv pretending everyday im doin ok etc etc. fuckin shite. my footie/soccer coach rang me the other day and asked if i cud play today and i sed yea cus didnt wana let him down. now i gta run around for 90mins messing up and lettin the team down. he thinks i've bin tryin to get fit so he's expectin more. dnt wana let the girls down in the team so gta turn up and do as asked. but im shit and jus ake mistakes and feel like crying and tearing my hair out right now but gta go put a smile on my face keep thr frustration of me being a complete failure inside and keep tryin. i went on chat last nite and some ppl after hearing my moan about my pathetic situation told me straight im a dick and not helpin myself. i cudnt handle it. the ppl tht try and b supportive even wen they agree wiv ya admitted wat a loser and a failure i am. lmfao cud it get much worse! everythin went reli tits up last nite i cut the crap out of my stomach in a somehow way of punishing myself for being fat and not trying hard enough. i even failed doing tht. yea i cut but it wasnt even half as deep as i wanted. anyways theres my lil online scream now i gta go put myself through a few hours of fuckin hell and fuck my life. Lets hope i crash.