just a little info.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by musicmendmysoulx, Apr 5, 2012.

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  1. musicmendmysoulx

    musicmendmysoulx New Member

    hello my name is shannon. i am 14 years old and i live a pretty good life. i only say this, because i have two perfectly good functioning legs, 2 loving bestfriends, an amazing boyfriend, and i'm 100% healthy. i have several problems though (then again, who doesn't?) but anywho.. i have to go to court april 18th for a truency ticket. i might get probation and it scares the living crap out of me to think about standing in front of a judge, not knowing what could possibly happen next. i try my hardest at pretty much everything i do. i always listen to my parents, but they both resent me... i'm a very kind-hearted person, ask anyone. i think i have an eating disorder, because i barely eat. and when i think about eating, i get sick to my stomach, because i think im fat, and eating would just give me more reason to live. i know god created and gave me this beautiful life, and i love and cheerish it. but sometimes i feel as if i simply do not deserve it. im a failure. im a loser. i feel like peoples' lives would be better without me. i've had SEVERAL thoughts of suicide. and one day im scared that things will be so bad, that i'll just snap. i dont wanna be like that. i don't want to be like this. i miss being in control of my actions and emotions. but now everything is just so confusing and difficult. i wish my life was easier to live. i'm basically living for others. because i dont think im worth much of anything... but i know if i were to die, people would blame me and call me stupid and say i was over dramatic or something like that. but anyways, thanks for reading & listening. bye.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    HI Shannon YOU are not a loser hun you are in need of some compassion and care and understanding . I hope you can talk to a councilor at your school about how you are feeling and your doctor as well Hugs to you
     
  3. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Writer, Musician, Fun Lover, Magic Maker

    You deserve to have a good life and you seem like a great person. You shouldn't hurt yourself....you have people who care about you and don't want you to do anything bad. You should try talking to someone about how you're feeling. If they call you names then they aren't worth your time. There are people out there who care and will help you. We care here, but maybe you will need help outside of this site. Best of luck to you.
     
  4. youRprecious!

    youRprecious! Antiquities Friend

    Hi Shannon - glad that you've found this site where people care about others and want to be here for them. Honey, at 14 things like you describe can seem overwhelming. Life seems to be full of authority figures who are distant and different from us, don't understand and we have to obey, obey, obey etc. or find ourselves with the consequences.

    Writing it all down on a site like this can help to give you a new perspective and give room for your thinking. You need to take good care of YOU first, and if it means care-fronting your parents to say you're struggling a little and would they please help you and listen to what you have to say....... they need to know. It's not OK for parents to expect their children to be strong for them when they need more lessons in how to nurture - and you will be giving them that opportunity. All the best with it, and look forward to hearing from you more :)
     
  5. alison

    alison Well-Known Member

    Hi Shannon :hugtackles:

    I think it's great that you can look at your life and see what is positive. But at the same time, I think it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking "my life is perfect, why am I messing up?" Just because there are a lot of good things in your life, doesn't mean that sometimes things aren't hard. Being 14 years old is hard. Having an eating disorder is hard. This is not a reflection on you. I hope you can try to cut yourself some slack and acknowledge that although you are very blessed, life isn't always easy. It is okay to make mistakes. It is okay to feel overwhelmed.

    I hope you can find ways to practice forgiveness and self-love. Do you think there's any way you can talk to a counselor? Both the eating disorder and suicidal thoughts are scary, and you deserve treatment.
     
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