Just a little rant

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by dice, Jul 10, 2012.

  1. dice

    dice Well-Known Member

    I joined this forum about eight months ago. Since then things have gotten both better and worse.

    I decided coming out as a bisexual guy would help make me feel better about myself. Well I came out to my friends and that has been met with some mixed reactions but my friends remain. I came out to my parents, well I was more outed and didn't lie about it. When that happened my dad said he was extremely dissapointed and didn't think I'd amount to anything in life anymore. He threatened to kick me out of the house and forced me to go to therapy in the hopes that maybe I was just confused (he used the word disturbed) and the therapist could convince me I'm actually straight. It was extremely hurtful and my mom's reaction was just about the same. Fortunatly my mom has come around rather nicely but that initial coming out was terrible.

    Since my last suicide attempt I have been diagnosed with HIV but had followup tests come back showing indeterminant. It's frustrating because I can't definitivly say one way or the other if I have it and just have to wait things out to know for sure. I have not been able to get in a real relationship because everyone is scared away by this. I just really want someone for a real relationship to love but I can't seem to get close to anyone. I'm still not as bad as I was when I registered for this site but I'm just so frustrated with life I just don't want to go on.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Walter...I am so sorry that your father was so closed minded...also, I am not sure why you cannot be diagnosed whether you are HIV+; what testing facility did you use, and maybe another would have a more reliable lab and therefore, more reliable results...also, any department affiliated with HIV/AIDS usually have quite good counseling services...maybe that would be helpful in the persuit of a long term relationship...wishing you all the best
  3. dice

    dice Well-Known Member

    I didn't tell my parents I might have HIV. It seemed like coming out went poorly enough without throwing that in the mix.

    As for testing I think I just have a unique blood chemistry something like 1 in 5,000 people have this where they only test indeterminant on the Western Blot test. The good news is one more test should be enough for me to conclusivly say I'm negative. It's just a pain that after every test you are suppossed to wait another six weeks before getting retested. It's almost been six weeks now so hopefully things will get better.