I hate this feeling so much. I am so sick of feeling like this. I can't take it much more. I just want the pain to go away. There's only so much a person can take before they go crazy. I am trying hard to hold on, but I'm at the end of my rope and I've got some crazy rope burn on my hands. My depression is starting to manifest itself as actual physical pain. I feel pressure inside my head and chest. I need release from this bullshit. I know it's going to start affecting my health and heart. There is only one time I don't feel it: when I'm sleeping. I try not to think about the things that cause me to feel depressed, but it's hard. It's shoved in my face every day. The only reason I am still here is because I think I could get better one day soon. I need to get better. I will not put up with this until I am old. It is overwhelming. I need release from this agony. If there really is a god out there, I beg him to have some mercy on me. I can't take it much longer. Please... I'm not crazy or delusional, although you might think I am from this post and others I've made. I'm just in extreme emotional pain and depression. I don't know how else to cope. Writing about it does help a bit, and I'll take anything I can.