Just a long, crazy rant on my depression... ignore me

[lymeinside]

I hate this feeling so much. I am so sick of feeling like this. I can't take it much more. I just want the pain to go away. There's only so much a person can take before they go crazy. I am trying hard to hold on, but I'm at the end of my rope and I've got some crazy rope burn on my hands. :P

My depression is starting to manifest itself as actual physical pain. I feel pressure inside my head and chest. I need release from this bullshit. I know it's going to start affecting my health and heart. There is only one time I don't feel it: when I'm sleeping.

I try not to think about the things that cause me to feel depressed, but it's hard. It's shoved in my face every day.

The only reason I am still here is because I think I could get better one day soon. I need to get better. I will not put up with this until I am old. It is overwhelming. I need release from this agony. If there really is a god out there, I beg him to have some mercy on me. I can't take it much longer. Please...

I'm not crazy or delusional, although you might think I am from this post and others I've made. I'm just in extreme emotional pain and depression. I don't know how else to cope. Writing about it does help a bit, and I'll take anything I can.

 

[Forgotten_Man]

Hmm well, first off, I did not ignore you so bite me. And your rant is not long trust me I have written MUCH longer.

As for what you can do... hmm well it is hard to say really. Try narrowing your depression to what you think causes it. And try fixing that.

I know for me loneliness is the ultimate cause of my depression. And I am lonely because I am shy, I am shy because I have no self-confidence. So I made a resolution to remedy my no self-confidence by doing what it takes to improve my image. Really that is the only thing you can do.

Or another thing you might try. Do something you really want to do, but are incredibly embarrassed about. For me it is cross-dressing. So I one day I mustered up the courage and bought a swimsuit. And after I got it I felt inspired and courageous. Granted that feeling went away and the inspired feeling did not come back till much later. But maybe find the confidence to do something weird will may you feel better.