Been feeling dark and low for a long time now years in fact and up to now have always managed to keep it under control. But now it's starting to get to much I don't know how or why it all started but it did. I find myself trolling sites on the best way to do it < Mod Edit Hazel: Method > I'm not ready to do it yet but i can feel it coming even wrote some of the letters that i need to write today morbid i know. Starting to get my affairs in order as it will be hard enough on the ones i leave behind with out all the extra stuff. And yes I have been to the doctors and am on anti-depressants but there not working going back on Friday see what he says and see if he will try me on something else which I'm willing to try but don't hold out much hope. Does feel better to write some of it down to let others know what's happening to me as I can't tell friends or family so telling strangers is my way of letting someone anyone know how i feel but in truth all roads as far as I can see lead to the same destination. Thanks for reading my ramblings.