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Just a question...

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by x.R.x, Mar 27, 2008.

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  1. x.R.x

    x.R.x Well-Known Member

    I was just wondering if anyone has been really looked down upon since people found out about their depression etc? I mean like where everyone thinks you should be locked up in some mental home somewhere and never let out...and you get told that you're 'wrong in the head' and get treated like some insane freak who shouldn't be around people and has brought this on themselves etc.
    and whenever someone talks to you they use a patronising tone like they're talking to a little kid, speaking slowly and everything - I mean yeah, I'm depressed but I'm not a bloody nutter! well at least I don't think I am...heck I don't even know anymore :sad:

    Has anyone else had that though? people treating you differently, and not in a good way? :mellow:
  2. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    I haven't. It's so late (i.e., being 2008)that by now most people aren't ignorant in the way you describe. Who is doing this to you? How old are you? Do you feel able to communicate with them what you just told us?
  3. x.R.x

    x.R.x Well-Known Member

    Oh sorry, I didn't mean everyone was like that...just the people around me I guess. I'm 17, and it's mostly my mum actually, and other people in my family plus others that my mums' told. Luckily my friends aren't like that though cos they don't know most of it. I've tried telling them that I'm the same person, and I don't act differently (well apart from the obvious when I'm down etc.) but they think otherwise, and tbh it's really upsetting me cos they constantly talk about me behind my back, then I get told what was said by the ones who overhear the conversation etc. I wouldn't even be bothered at all if all this wasn't being passed around to half the people on the flippin planet! exaggeration I know, but feels like it :sad: seems like everyone's finding out and I hate it. Even people who have never even spoken to me before and don't know me...

    Thanks for the reply though, I did waffle a bit lol
  4. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    Oh gosh, don't be sorry!

    Your mom is violating your right to privacy, man. (Or hon.) Though not a legal issue, it's pretty nefarious to do what she is doing -- and I can relate, as my dad used to do that decades ago. It wasn't about depression but he would just blather on and on about his young son's many medical problems.

    I was about 10, maybe 12-sh. I told him in no uncertain terms: "Hey, if you are that darned bored then find a hobby. Don't make me some fodder for your gossip. It's warped and it's wrong. If you must talk about me for conversation material, can you not tell these "over-the-fence" neighbors of my straight-A acedemic achievements or something!?"

    I did; I told him that and he eventually stopped (I guess).

    I feel for ya x.R.x Have been there. Oh - and your frustrations are completely valid. It's a sick practice.

    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 29, 2008
  5. martijn

    martijn Active Member

    Well, yea.. Anyone that is too scared to try to understand.

    My mom to start with. She is convinced she knows excactly what's best for me and excactly what would 'cure' me. "Go excercise and eat healthy food and do everything else I tell you to do and you'll be OK in no-time! ... in a nutshell. When I don't want to do excactly what she wants me to, she calls me selfish and stupid for not wanting to do what "obviously" would be so amazingly good for me.

    I have told some of my friends, they haven't treated me very differently. Then again, my friendship with them is somewhat shallow. I chose only to tell them, though, because I knew roughly what kind of reaction I could expect. I know that some of my other friends would never understand, they'd probably get mad or, as you say, treat me like a nutcase. So I simply make sure they don't find out.
  6. The Jester Race

    The Jester Race Active Member

    Same with my mom. She thinks that she's always right. She thinks that I should just be able to magically snap out of my depression. I just can't. I hate it here. I hate her. I just want it to all go away.
  7. x.R.x

    x.R.x Well-Known Member

    that's EXACTLY what I've tried to do! turns out my mum called the doctor behind my back (I have no idea why!) and she turned up unexpected and I was made to sit n have a "chat" with her. I refused going back there in the past so she came to me, I wasn't happy about it though...but she asked me loads of questions, told me what my mum told her and ended up telling my mum to get off my back (in a nicer way obviously) and that I wasn't insane or anything like that. Hasn't made much of a difference but I'm glad someone else told her! She's just a big gossip I guess, won't stop for no one!

    thanks for replying guys x
  8. Anam_Cara

    Anam_Cara Well-Known Member

    :mad: unfortunately like a few of you on here my know it all grandparents that im living with seem to think that changing my diet, exercising, christianity and going out in the sunshine are going to cure me of my bipolar disorder. :blink: im not able to be treated with medication as it makes me even worse depression wise, medication works in reverse. im badgered constantly about my weight, the fact i sleep during the day alot, and that i don't exercise enough. first, i've got severe medical problems that keep me laid up in bed alot (which they think are me lying to get out doing any work).. never mind the fact that i've had doctors tell me i need to sleep alot, i need to stay off my feet and have no unnecessary stress. they talk about me amongst themselves all the time. even when i have documented medical diagnosis they think its something i'm doing to bum off of them which hurts me terribly. i wasnt blessed with a strong body. Suffering high blood pressure,bipolar disorder, borderline diabetic, peripheral edema so bad im often on lasix to even get my shoes on, asthma, an abdominal pain issue chronically, i've had knee surgery a few years ago and walking is still painful. ALL of these issues that i have they still think that good ole' fashioned work and christianity is the cure all.. if i don't meet their expectations its either called "laziness" or being a "hypochondriac".. i wake every morning hearing them discuss over coffee just how lazy i am and how i need a kick in the arse to get out of it. lately every time i get anywhere near their food my weight is thrown in my face by one relative, im followed around the kitchen and told im killing myself with food, and how ive just let myself go (that's the nicer comments) i got hysterical and started crying the other night begging him to leave me alone but it persisted.
  9. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    Reading these posts are confusing. From what i see, your depressed, you dont like the way people treat you because your depressed, your mother tries to make you snap out of depression and see truth,you tell her to get lost, and you are now again depressed and back to the beginning of the cycle. please be logical, maybe your loathing?

    Give your mother a chance if you really dont like being treated the way you are; councellors do help i know from experience. And you have to be fair to yourself and your mom. Shes trying to help you, dont be selfish, and again be logical. If you dont like the way you are treated, why are you staying in your depressed state? maybe you need some attention or whatever the case but make up your mind.

    sorry if my post was a little offensive but again be logical, you came to a forum, you get replies. :p

    and sorry if i misunderstood your posts.
  10. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    Yeah of course and it's not only people who haven't got mental health problems. It's people with mental health problems too :dry:. When it comes to violating one's privacy and gossiping and perhaps you know fucking with my mind it seems people think they they have the right to do that whatever their mental health status. I think it's because I come across as very 'sweet and kind' and 'not really there' :rolleyes: and childish.

    I'm glad your doctor told your mother to get off your back.

    Angelo- if depression was something someone could 'snap out of' I'm sure lots of people would have just 'snapped out of it' by now. What exactly do you mean by 'truth'? Depression is very individual and involves complex things like one's emotions and feelings.
  11. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    It was offensive and presumptuous, Angelo. Depression is not a choice one makes.

  12. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Depression is not a 'logical' state of mind, from my experience. I'm supposed to be intelligent but my depression makes me think I'm not. Some of my family thinks I can just "snap out of it" or "ask God to help you", which I don't find helpful advice. It seems that most "normal" people have no idea how crippling depression can be. I try not to talk to those people. And when I get useless advice I just pretend to listen and then say "thanks, I'll try that" and that's the end of that. I try to ignore them as much as possible.
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