bloody imagining things. so things arent gonna be the way my seven year old mind thought they'd be. it aint all gonna be cheerful happy families. but it still isn't going to revert to three years ago either. its a good thing at least. is it? is them both not talking to each other to avoid fights really a good thing? things almost seem normal. but its like its cursed. every fuckign time i say that it just ends up in another big arguement. i need to remember its all in my bloody head. whats happened in the past isn't going to happen again. i won't have to hear them. i won't have to see it. and just because i think i can hear it doesnt mean its for real. get the fuck over it, ok?! have i gone fucking crazy? i feel like i have. :cry: i dont want to go to school tomorrow. but i dont want to stay at home either. maybe i'll die overnight... then i get spared the decision of trying to fake sick. i dont deserve to live anyway. its no use.