just a rant...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Perfectly Imperfect, Aug 6, 2007.

  1. A song that describes a bit of what I'm feeling right now...

    She's back on drugs again
    Even though she knows it ain't right
    She can't even call up her friends
    And say "help me save my life"
    She's so ashamed of herself that she's come full circle
    Nobody understands what it's like to
    Be this girl
    So she disappeared, and she
    Wasn't clear, and she
    Didn't say where she was going

    Save my life, won't you help me
    Save my life, won't you help me
    Save my life, won't you hear me
    Save my life, won't you help me

    She had the man of her dreams
    And some success
    And she was so happy, and looking well
    It was this one dark night, that she
    And then the next morning that she
    Felt like a piece of shit
    So she's hanging out, and she's
    With the crowd, and she's
    Travelin' where the wind is blowing


    And he's a real good guy and he
    Wants to save her 'cause he's
    More than been there all before
    And she's so confused and his heart is breaking and he
    Dreams she's knocking on his door


    I don't even know where to begin...all of this is just too much to deal with anymore. I didn't think it would be getting worse. In fact, I thought things were improving again, but no, I was proved wrong yet again. I recieved a heartbreaking call from my mom and she didn't seem to care about my feelings or if I was okay. Of course i shouldn't be one to bitch about it as she has never cared about my feelings nor do I deserve her care. I'm just a fucking stupid ass **** who doesn't deserve anything good in her life and a slutty ass bitch who deserves to fucking die. I haven't been successful enough for my family, they don't seem to give a shit anymore. My mom has cut off all communicattion with me unless she has something to say that will make me feel worse about myself or the situation I am in. I suppose it's what I should expect though, once again, she's only my mom. I can't fuckin take this shit anymore. I just want to disappear...FOREVER!!!!!! I'm tired of trying anymore, and the one thing that I'm living for is in danger of dieing. If Caleb dies, I'm done, I can't continue to live without him. I told my step mom this and she didn't seem to believe me or even care for that matter. I really hope that he makes it but if he doesn't, as bad as this sounds, it gives me more incentive to go through with my plan. I have been looking up more methods, fool-proof methods, so I should be able to be successful if I attempt again. I don't know what more to say right now, and I shouldn't really be bitching, but I had to get it out of my system. >.< :unsure:
  2. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    I hope getting that out of your system helped some. :hug:

    You've got a lot to confront right now. Don't be down on yourself for being human. You're having to be stronger than a lot of other humans, at the moment. So at the very least, you deserve to be built up. Please try to hang in there. Way easier said than done, but please try.

    You don't have to feel strong right now. And even if you don't, you're much stronger than you think you are. Have a bit of faith in you.

    I'm here anytime.