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Just all alone always

shelled1

unbelonger
SF Supporter
#1
I know here I'm probably not unique in this regard here, having no one in your life and always being rejected throughout life. Pretty severe. It feels like torture. I tried the online therapies, 3 different platforms. I just feel like unless they have experienced it themselves, how can they understand or help? I don't feel understood or I feel too weird for even them. And these online platforms, they send brief text back and maybe a worksheet, and forget to schedule another session or want to do it every 2 weeks even though you paid for more. Anyway, it's been a bust and makes me even sadder. I reach out which is a big deal to me, and I feel like a joke. I'm going to lose or quit my job since I can't even bring myself to share a "life is good" event in front of 150+ people on camera. Didn't help the hostess sort of chuckled at me the first and only time I participated. So now I just cry and skip it. I can't stop crying. I don't get why an abnormal unwanted undesirable freak joke creature should continue on. What good am I?
 
#2
I'm sorry that online therapy has failed you so badly. I think in principle there could be a good therapist out there for you, but it can be hard to find a good one.
I'm going to lose or quit my job since I can't even bring myself to share a "life is good" event in front of 150+ people on camera
Are you sure you're obligated to participate in this?
Didn't help the hostess sort of chuckled at me the first and only time I participated
What a horrible woman. I'll say nasty things about her if you'd like :)
I don't get why an abnormal unwanted undesirable freak joke creature should continue on
I think you're just a good person who has suffered at the hands of bad people.
You have inherent worth as a human being. You're also probably a much better person that you think you are.

Hugs Shelled
 

Catch_22

Well-Known Member
#3
I know here I'm probably not unique in this regard here, having no one in your life and always being rejected throughout life. Pretty severe. It feels like torture. I tried the online therapies, 3 different platforms. I just feel like unless they have experienced it themselves, how can they understand or help? I don't feel understood or I feel too weird for even them. And these online platforms, they send brief text back and maybe a worksheet, and forget to schedule another session or want to do it every 2 weeks even though you paid for more. Anyway, it's been a bust and makes me even sadder. I reach out which is a big deal to me, and I feel like a joke. I'm going to lose or quit my job since I can't even bring myself to share a "life is good" event in front of 150+ people on camera. Didn't help the hostess sort of chuckled at me the first and only time I participated. So now I just cry and skip it. I can't stop crying. I don't get why an abnormal unwanted undesirable freak joke creature should continue on. What good am I?
I relate.
 

shelled1

unbelonger
SF Supporter
#4
I'm sorry that online therapy has failed you so badly. I think in principle there could be a good therapist out there for you, but it can be hard to find a good one.

* I'm in desperate need of one. I feel I must be doing something wrong or it's a problem that can't be helped. Sometimes I just want to be listened to and not have every thought or assumption immediately challenged when they never ask about my history.

Are you sure you're obligated to participate in this?

* Supposedly, yes, they even joke it will get people out of their comfort zone. I have skipped or had "internet issues" with subsequent ones but can't do that forever without looking like a fool to my teammates. I'm not the only one to dread these but probably the only one to skip. I even requested to the co president to make these not mandatory, and she shot me down because she likes to hear what people are up to. I told my manager who told me she would try to figure out if my name could be skipped or something, and I never heard back on this (this idea would still make me a fool because my teammates would notice I never go on).

What a horrible woman. I'll say nasty things about her if you'd like :)

*oh please. :) j/k

I think you're just a good person who has suffered at the hands of bad people.

*I guess but I don't know how to go on anymore, my patience has expired it seems

You have inherent worth as a human being. You're also probably a much better person that you think you are.

* I can't know this without some sort of reflection that I am.

Hugs Shelled

* Thanks so much for hugs and responding. You helped make me feel a little bit better for the time being.
 
#5
* I'm in desperate need of one. I feel I must be doing something wrong or it's a problem that can't be helped. Sometimes I just want to be listened to and not have every thought or assumption immediately challenged when they never ask about my history.

I think they're out there. Idk, I guess in principle you could ask on the forums if anyone knows of a good one in your area, or just one that is accessible to you online.

* Supposedly, yes

It sounds like typical team-building crap that they say is mandatory. I doubt that they'd actually fire someone over this though.

*oh please. :) j/k

:)

* I can't know this without some sort of reflection that I am.

I don't know what it would take to convince you, but I hope that that reflection will come

* Thanks so much for hugs and responding. You helped make me feel a little bit better for the time being.

You're welcome! :)

More hugs *hug
 

Catch_22

Well-Known Member
#7
You have inherent worth as a human being. You're also probably a much better person that you think you are.

* I can't know this without some sort of reflection that I am.

⏫⏫⏫ It's this, right here. Same. And we need it more than just words on a screen by people who don't really know us. (Not that the online support isn't helpful in any way, but when you need to be seen, accepted and loved and know your value and no one in your life gives it, or you don't have anyone, what then? )

I get this deep.
 

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