Why does it feel so lonely all the time, I don't speak to anybody, the last person I actually spoke to was yesterday my GP, the last time i spoke to a friend on the phone, or heard a voice "not professional" was probably a few weeks ago, maybe longer. I hate this scared, pathetic person I have become, I hate her so much. I just wish I knew how to make friends, how not to push them away, how to have a normal conversation, how to start a conversaion...how not to worry. What kinda of life is this? Its not a life, its an existence. I actually could die tonight and wouldn't be found for at least 4/5 days probably even longer, that's such a comforting thought...and that would only be cause my house mate otherwise it would be weeks.