Just an update about me

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by Wormling, Dec 29, 2007.

  1. Wormling

    Wormling Well-Known Member

    I didn't know where else to post this so I shall post it here. I have been going to this board off and on for about half a year now. When I first found SF, I was extremely depressed, suicidal, and completely hopeless. I talked to people and felt a little better. Since then, I have been on the up and up for the most part, with a few stumbles now and then. Reading people's posts here, I learned a lot about a lot. I learned I was not the only one who felt like I did. I learned I was not alone in what I have done and experienced. I have spoken to a few people here off and on, and finally got the motivation and courage to take steps towards becoming better and towards understanding. Why do I feel like this? Why me? I still have my off days, but in the whole I am much better emotionally and physically now than I was half a year ago. Looking back at some posts I have made, I sometimes feel like that was all a bad dream, or was someone else, and not me. I still haven't been able to get health insurance, so I haven't been able to see a doctor/psych yet to resolve past issues and see what physically/mentally is wrong with me. From research, I think that I am bipolar and that this is why I can have really good things happen and feel like crap, and then feel great, and then crap again. I have wierd moods and do things and I do not understand why, and from what I read, this is some symptoms of Bipolar disorder. My moods are more stable now that they used to be, but I still have some bad days.

    Here is some stuff research of mine turned up, that has helped stabalize me:

    1) I work graveyard shifts (was 60 hours a week, and I have dropped that to only 35-40) and attend university full time. I learned that I was completely overstressing myself with no outlets for relief. So I lowered how much I was doing overall and picked up a few new games to play, especially first person shooters, to take out my stress with rather than bottling it all away until I explode.

    2) Working graveyard shifts, I sleep during the day, and I sleep on the floor. I researched sleep, and found out what in all happens when you sleep and why it is important. I am now saving up for a good bed so that I can sleep better, and also have put a blanket over my window. It turns out that the light actually affects your sleep chemically. With light, your body produces x amount of a melatonin while if you sleep when it is dark, your body produces y amount. With too little melatonin, your moods will be out of whack and if you are prone to being angry, you will be even angrier than normal. If you are prone to being depressed, as I am, then you can be extremelly depressed. Since I started putting a blanket over my window, I noticed I am not quite as erratic in my moods.

    3) Balance! For nearly 4 years, I ate just pasta and just about nothing else. Ever. My diet was sorely lacking in numerous vitamins and minerals, and I did some research onto what exaclty some of these do. Some can control your energy levels, others affect mental accuity, and others do other important tasks. B vitamins for example, are the ones that help you produce energy, and with a lack of B vitamins, you will be less energetic and more tired. So, I started taking a complete mens 1 a day vitamin and have noticed my ability to concentrate go way up. I started taking the vitamins 1 week ago, and went bowling yesterday with my best friend. I broke my all time high score TWICE. Bowled 3 games, and my last two were both higher than I have ever done before, even when my team won first place in a league. For those who bowl, I scored in the three games, 133, 174, then 185. My average is 120. So, I did extremely well.

    So, all in all I am doing well. I still do not have a girlfriend, but I am talking to 2 atm, so that is a definately an improvement over moping around my apartment =P My next goal for myself is to see a doctor and find out if I do have bipolar or if not, what I do have if anything, and get meds if I need them.

    Well, hope this helps motivate others that are in a situation like I was. There is hope and definately room for improvement. It takes work and effort, but happiness can be achieved.

    - Wormling

    My favourite link on sleep and depression:

    Melatonin Links:


    Melatoning and SAD:
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 29, 2007
  2. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    So happy for you! The sleep thing will definitely help me, as my sleep patterns are all over the place :) Glad to hear a success story! Keep it up!
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 29, 2007
  3. Wormling

    Wormling Well-Known Member

    Thank you. I am still trying to look up the articles I have bookmarked so I can edit my post for accuracy, and to provide links in case others want to read my research.
  4. Axiom

    Axiom Account Closed

    Right on for doing the research mate :) Always something to smile about when someone strives to better themself. I donno man, just nice to read about your progression. Lifes awsome eh, sometimes it takes awhile to part those clouds. Just imagine what else you can do and all the fun and life you can touch..
    yeap :D right on man
  5. Will

    Will Staff Alumni

    Hey Wormling,

    That's great to see that you're doing so well. I think alot of getting better involves identifying what you need to work on, and just trying to get as much information as you can, and try to fix it. You've done great, and it's awesome you're overcoming alot of your problems.

    I think we could all kind of pull an example from your experiences, it's really important we all do what you did in a sense, because we all at one time, no doubt have problems, and we don't know why, or how to fix them. And really it's identifying what we ourselves need to work on.

    And it's great to hear about your accomplishments. I'm glad man, you're doing awesome :) Hang in there man,and take care.
  6. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    Hiya, its great to hear you're doing so well now!! Of course, nothing's perfect so there's always gonna be the odd stumble or two, but its great to hear that things are on the up and up now. Hopefully you'll be able to get a bed too - a good night's sleep is worth so much - I just moved house recently and didn't have a bed for about two months - I was so glad when it finally came!

    I hope that eventually you'll be able to see a doctor - even if it isn't bipolar or anything like that, its still great to see them just in case, or for anything else that you weren't aware of. Great to hear from you. =)

  7. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member


    It's very nice to hear that your fortunes have turned. Also this has all been done by your own free will and initiative. Keep walking in that path and things will only get better for you.

    All the best and good luck with the future.
  8. Wormling

    Wormling Well-Known Member

    Wow! Almost 100 views! I am really surprised. Well, here is some more good news that I already shared with BP (hes been chatting with me when I work my 12 hour shifts, thanks BP!). Well, I went to a party a few days ago and actually gathered up the nerve to talk to a girl I saw who was standing all alone. I struck up a conversation, and long story short, I, mr never have female friends, don't talk to girls, actually chatted away the whole party with various women, and became friends with two of them. We actually traded emails, myspace pages, etc and are keeping in contact. I actually surprised myself. I expected to be alone at the party and walked away with two new friends =)

    On top of that, I am now taking a girl I met out on Thursday, not a date, just casual friends activities, but I am getting out and doing activities with new people =) I have definitely improved a lot from being a shy introvert who couldn't talk to anyone.