Just another day - Need Womens Help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by adamuk, Dec 4, 2007.

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  1. adamuk

    adamuk New Member

    If anybody can take some time aside to read about my current situation I would appriciate it alot.

    I apologise if this is not easy to read im a little upset and cant type too well

    Im a 20 year old male and have been in a relationship for about 2years with a girl that is almost 17 (I actually get along with her parents and there are no secrets may i point out!).
    I am also prescribed anti depressants , but I dont like how they make me feel so i do not use them.
    I have around £20,000 debt caused by gambling which aided depression and took my mind off things.
    I am on bail until 18th December because I had a heated argument with my girlfriend and she spat at me and started to punch me and I pushed her away and she fell over and banged her head.
    At the time I was alone but she was with a few friends who rang the police and said I had batterd her. So I ended up getting arrested and charged with allegadly battering her.
    She went to the police and told them she wanted to drop the charges and withdrew her statement. Then aplogized to me for it all and wanted to be with me.
    Now the case proceeds in public interest because of her friends that were there at the time have clubbed together and decided to stand in court against me. My girlfriend does not speak to them anymore though.

    I have a whole list of issues that are realy serious but would take a very long time to try to type out. I just dont seem to be able to get along in my life single or in a relationship. I have probably brought on 99% of the problems I have had in my life and deserve the pain of living with them. When I was about 16 - 18 I used to be a theif, not for any reason though just because I could. I live to completly seperate lives, I have always been in work I have 11 grade C and above GCSE's, done an NVQ Lv.2, worked in a prison, been a recruitment consultant, now im an IT Technician - sounds good rite? well its not realy, all that is, is just what I occupy my mind with 9-5., and all the while i dread returning to normal life.

    At the end of each day for the last week I come home and get ready to go out to see a girl that has caused me to go to court. And im scared if i walk out of the relationship that she will lie in court and get me in serious trouble. Also I am madly in love with her and do not want to leave her. just lately she has been having very irregular periods i.e. she will be on , then off for only 4 days or so then back on (i no she is telling the truth about this...) so i expected her mood to be a little haywire because of hormones etc. But now she is off her period I just dont get how I go round and we get along fine, then all of a sudden its llike she will look for a way to fall out with me, example:

    ME - should we go upstairs?
    HER - If you promise me you wont fall asleep
    ME - OK
    - so we go upstairs and watch TV and SHE starts to fall asleep -
    ME - are you tired babe?
    HER - Yes
    - so i cuddle up to her nicely , next thing you no she jumps up and goes downstairs, I waited but she did not come back up again. So i went downstairs and she was sitting with her family, I asked her what she was doing and she said "NOTHING YOU FUCKING FELL TO SLEEP" "FUCK OFF YOU WANKER" so i walk out after she embaressd me.

    Its like she is playing games with me but realy destroying me in the process. one minit we can actually get on 100% perfect so well its a dream, but then she trys to make things a bit more exciting by causing problems. when she is funny she will be like it for 1-2days then apologize and be realy nice. Its like she wears the trousers and plays hard to get, to the EXTREME.

    I have a girlfriend that is perfect but has this attitude that is driving me over the edge, and im going to take my life sooner or later it seems so easy and I dont feel tired as such, and dont feel like a holiday would solve it becuase i would be thinking about coming home as soon as i got there. The only thing that will actually take my mind off things is smoking weed and stuff which I dont realy want to do and is an expensive habit.

    I need to find a balance of my emotion and my personality, and I need to learn to cope with HER bitchyness i guess.

    sorry if i wasted my time if you read this .

    but i feel like shit
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 4, 2007
  2. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I know you said you love your girlfriend, but this relationship does not sound healthy the way it is right now. Does she have any mental issues? You mentioned you were on meds, but don't like the way they make you feel. She may have a medical condition that causes her to act the way she is. Maybe she needs to see her gp and find out if something is out of balance. I hope you are able to sort this out. Maybe some time away from each other could help.
  3. adamuk

    adamuk New Member

    thanks. if i turned around to her rite now and told her i think she needs a doctor it would not be good news :unsure:
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sure not. Wait until she is in a good mood :). I am wondering if her hormones are out of kilter because of the irregularity of her periods. This can cause major mood swings. You will have to decide what is the best thing for you to do. If it is harmful for you to stay in the relationship, then you shouldn't. I wish I could offer you better advice, but not knowing her makes it a little more difficult. It is important to keep the lines of communication open between the two of you.
  5. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    sorry to be blunt but she isnt the girl for you. It sounds like she is still quite immature and isn't ready for a realtionship that you are ready for. You need to find someone that is willing to understand your feelings. Maybe a time apart isin order. while you 're apart, you can talk to members here and see if they have any suggestions to strengthen this relationship if that is what you are looking for.
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