Hi there, my name is jack W, i'm from the united kingdom(originally) but am currently living abroad with my family. I guess i don't know why i made an account here, was it to get acceptance from a community? Or just get a few threads telling me how much of an awesome human being i am, i just don't know,but it's probably for some selfish reason. But what i do know is that on march 13, 2012 i attempted to commit suicide. It was a long tedious day, and i was at home as usual, skipping university and failing in the process, and i had just gotten a call from my dad telling me how much of a failure i am, and that he would never accept me the same way i am currently, so on the same night i just had enough, my overbearing dependent mom who expects too much and my disappointed asshole of a dad, who expects nothing from me. I didn't know how to commit suicide, i tried thinking of ways, < edit moderator total eclipse methods> they all took so much time and effort, and i really didn't want to hit the pavement before i died. So, instead i used my mom's sleeping pills, took about < edit moderator total eclipse methods>, i forget, and just laid down in the bathroom and stared at the ceiling. I think that's when i lost consciousnesses, it's weird really, you don't really know whats going on, of-course as luck would have it, my mom found me and called the hospital and an ambulance arrived, took me to the hospital and got my stomach pumped. It's been about 7 months now and i lie to everyone around me telling them, i'll be ok and stuff, but actually i just want to end it all. The main reason as simply as i can explain it, life is a chore, there is no magical friendship ponies or anyone to help me or to even talk to me, the world just is this shit place, where i don't want to live in anymore. I'm 19, i'm an under achiever, i have done nothing, and i will never do anything, and i can't stand it. So why did i come here? Because i wanted to see what the fuss was all about, i wanted to see if people could truly help me, if i can believe in anyone after all the shitty people who called me their friend only to back stab me the next day. I know this sounds kind of gloomy, but i don't care anymore, this is my last line of defense i guess, to find people who have the same problems as me and maybe help me cope with it, and pull me out of this place. It's kind of a longshot, but i'm atleast willing to try and make an effort to talk to someone. Thanks for reading up to here, and hi i guess P.S. I really do hope this forum isn't full of "it gets betar" or "you are only 1x!", because i've been this depressed since i was 15, and no, it didn't get better, after high-school it got worst, the years keep on getting worse and worse, as my fellow humans who know what true depression is and how it gets to suicide know, these words to us mean nothing, so please don't say them.