I am not quite suicidal right now, but if it goes I will probably finish it all at once. So, here is my short story. This guy is not exactly a friend. We are rather co-workers with a friendly relationship. Recently, for the first time, I came out as gay and he was the first one to hear that. I didn't tell him that I am in love with him, although I made a few remarks that would point him to the right conclusion that I'm in fact in love with him. It seems that he accepted who I am. However, a few days ago he quit. And I no longer have contact with him. I could have called him, but it seems to me that he is aware of my feelings towards him and he tries to avoid me. I feel pretty depressed. I consider moving out of state, but the memories of him will hunt me for a long time. I wish I didn't meet him, but I can't turn clocks back. I feel so lonely and depressed. I know I can't turn him gay and I can't turn myself straight. Realizing that I will never have a chance with him only makes me more depressed. Now I understand the true meaning of the intimidating word 'never'. I will NEVER be able to be with him. There will NEVER be a moment when I could hug him, look into his eyes and say that I love him. And I will probably NEVER see him again. Life is so unfair. Why me? I see a lot of people around me who enjoy their lives and are able to share this joy with their beloved ones. Probably, this is something that I will never be able to experience. Please, give me some advise. I know it probably won't help a lot, but I'm sure there some people out there who understand my situation and would like to provide a little support. (I apologize for any errors, since English isn't my first language).