I am so sick of living like this. I hate that I hate myself as much as everyone else. I only think of 2 things 24/7, suicide and her. I just want to belong. I want to stop waking up in the morning and being upset that I didn't die in my sleep. I want to wake up and be happy that I woke up. I want to stop making these stupid posts. I want to stop holding everything in. When people ask if everything is alright, I want to say, "yea" and actually mean it. I just wish everything would end and I could finally be at peace with myself. Please let me belong somewhere before I fuck up and actually succeed. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live as me.