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just another sob story.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by foreverforgotten, Feb 11, 2010.

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  1. foreverforgotten

    foreverforgotten Well-Known Member

    So......Im so dazed (i have no clue why) just reading everybodies threads here..and staring at this bright computer screen...and theres a world out there...with mean, cruel and stupid people...who could never care about a person like me...and im not in it..so if i leave will it even matter? If im not really in this world anyways..among people...I used to think that no one would care..and its half true. But I know that if i did it my dad would too.
    and my mom would go back to the psych ward.. I dont want to hurt anyone...
    I dont want to make them cry..But what can I do? what is a life thats only being lived for others? I know everyone else better than myself. I dont want to think about it... im 20...finished high school online because of this...
    didnt have friends in high school...just got out of a terrible relationship with
    a vain self centred narcisist with anger problems. I knew that person since 8th grade...she was the one who would sit by me on the floor and talk to me..but shes a different person now.. Its very scary and hurtful. But i did it to myself. I never left because I thought it was better than being alone..was I right? Its feels right. whats the point?
    i suck at communication with people I dont know.
    most of my school life i never talked to anyone..not my family..teachers..
    strangers..not even myself...They call me anti social. and i am. Im not a mean person...but i have nothing to say..accept what im saying now.
    which makes no sense to me. Im afraid ill become a basket case in place of my mom and whither away in front of the tv ...alone....in a dark room...taking a million pills nigth and day,..with the only thing to look forward to being crossword puzzles..and checking my empty emails.
    I dont want to become this....
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Just wanted to let you know that I read your thread and I am sending caring thoughts to you...big hugs, J
     
  3. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Just wanted you to know that I read your post. I'm around a lot if you feel like talking.
     
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