just another spew of hateful rantings

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Smashed__, Apr 20, 2009.

  1. Smashed__

    Smashed__ Well-Known Member

    I feel as if I have hate coming from every pore in my body. that anger, jealousy and hate have consumed me and I am just drained. I don't know why I can't help but feel this way at even the slightest upset- hell I hate myself at the moment for all of this unreasonable behavior! I can't sleep I am not really speaking more than the ocassional "hello" or yes/no to anyone but my mother- who clearly isn't listening to what I am trying to tell her.

    I have started asphxiating again because it feels like the ONLY way I can get control over myself and calm down without taking sleeping pills and staying in bed all day.

    I feel as soon as I put enough money away to take care of everything when I die I will be able to leave and not second guess myself again. I am sick of feeling useless and never feeling happy een for an instance. I don't know that I can take feeling alone and left behind even in a house full of people.

    and what is the point of me looking for a therpist to prove I'm beyond saving to her?

    I've fucking had it with everyone. :sad:

  2. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    This hate you have, is it mostly centered towards yourself and how your behaving?