hi, hi there... i guess you can tell i'm new here, but i'm a pretty huge veteren of "depression forums" i havent visited any for a while, but decided i have reached a point in my life where i really need some help again, and seeing as the old forums i used to visit are new inundated with idiots and time wasters who think it's fun to troll and spam, well...this place seemed like it was different. anyway, i'll stop babbling now...i'm 20, have been having problems (issues) in my life for a long while now...since i was about 15? and life seemed to lighten up a little for the past year...but here i am again...unhappy, thinking the unthinkable...and needing some help. so come help me? i'm a pretty lonely kid, convinced the world hates me and thinks i am strange...i find salvation in going to rock gigs and writing senseless poetry that probably makes no sense. i come from the UK, have had my heart broken a few too many times...i love to comfort eat, i stopped drinking in november because i took it too far one night. i have dreams of becoming someone...important? but i know i can never achieve that...but what i want the most is just to be liked, loved...appriciated? i guess i miss the warm feeling of going through life without a care in the world...i'd like to be missed when i'm gone, and i want my enemy's to stop hating me for not being them. sometimes i wish i could just scream all this pain away...but i'm far too self conciouse of looking like just another cliche. most of all...i just need a few friends and someone to help me make sense of it all. and that's me... you used to be my everyone, in past days when you were beautiful, you changed beyond who we loved to be, yet left me. who am i? you're simply inside my head now, you're stuck in this place in time, frozen beauty...that's your name. frozen beauty...that's what love, to me, is now. i hate to see you these days - the plastic, just another clone... when did you fall out from inside the tree? where has my path to beauty gone? you left me....who were we? you left me...who are you now?