just bored of life

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thowra, Sep 1, 2009.

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  1. thowra

    thowra Member

    hi everyone

    ugh i feel like such a foney posting on here because i read and talk to people whos lives are in far worse places than mine and theres nothing i can do, i just feel ike such a whiner because theres so much hurt going on in this world and im not helping by whinging about my "problems". . . but im gunna do it anyway, not because i want advice or sympathy but because it feels good to write things down even if they ARE petty....

    i dont FEEL depessed , yes i cry a lot but so does every teenage girl, im not..exactly suicidal i just....want to ...be gone and death is the only option i can find that achieves that:sad:

    people call me lazy becuse i sleep a lot but to be honest i sleep so much because its the only way i can find that stops all my feelings and thoughts from constantly pummeling me, the GUILT ugh, AT ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, i get really pissed at myself sometimes because thers absolutely no reason for me to ....feel like that , i have a loving family i have a nice little group of friends im not HIDEOUS ..i just want to be dead, and not because i think ill come back or go to heaven or any of that:mellow: but i BELIEVE that theres nothing i WANT nothing i dont even want to be happy i wat to be non existent i HATE EVERYTHING even the people and things i love i HATE them because i love them and theyre tearing me up inside they(non-purposely) make me feel guilty for not appreciating them more , BUT I DO APPRECIATE very much , some people say "you dont know what youve got till youve lost it" i havent lost anything, yet but i feel THE MOST HEART WRENCHING ...GRIEF I SUPPOSE EVERYTIME I APPRECIATE AND LOVE THEM

    i dont want any of it ive found myself unconsciously being more wreckless less cautious stepping infront of cars and buses, im afraid to say not wearing my seatbelt - done unconsciously ,obviously my subconscious doesent want to live either

    im not a bad person i dont regret anything

    i just dont want to exist

    hahaha bet youre eyes hurt now hey?

    whoever just read this thanks i guess you were pretty damn bored :lol!:
  2. pit

    pit Well-Known Member

    If you give your feelings some distance, maybe everything will come together and make sense.
  3. -Chris-

    -Chris- Member

    You sound like a very caring person, it seems like you feel guilty because of how others are affected by you. I am not downplaying your issues at all, but maybe it would help you to do some volunteer work. I have and you'd be surpised how much it helps.

    You already mentioned that you know there are a lot of people worse off than you, and that's really true for all of us. If you put some of that bored time into helping others who really could use your help, maybe at the local hospital with some kids, or maybe some older folks, it would definitely cheer up their lives. But, it would also help you in return. It will fill that void that you are feeling right now and in a very short time you will start to feel that sense of purpose that you're missing too.

    If you can't talk to anyone about these issues, keep posting here for sure, it does help by getting those issues out in the open. You're definitely not alone as many of us have felt the same way, either now or before. So stay in touch, and keep writing.
  4. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    if youre bored, open yourself to more possibilities in life. this is your life dont feel bad.
  5. allison

    allison Well-Known Member

    I feel the same way. I sleep when I begin to get these depressing thoughts, but when I wake up I sometimes still feel the same. I get wanting to be done with it all. Especially since we don't really know what the hell we're supposed to do with our lives. It all seems pointless at times I guess. I sometimes hate myself for thinking all these things, since I feel like I'm just this really lazy, selfish person who wants to end it all because of that - laziness. But the way we both feel may also be a sign of something wrong going on in our heads...

    Have you tried finding an activity that keeps your mind off things? Something you enjoy? I usually write and read, but sometimes I don't have the energy for even that anymore. But try to find a distraction at least.
  6. Darker Than Black

    Darker Than Black Well-Known Member

    me 2.......................:(
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I hope you could talk to a professional about how you are feeling depression sucks it really just takes all will away. Maybe getting help from therapist having talk sessions getting on some meds will give you the energy you need.
    If you have any interest at all follow them try something new even acting music art anything to change your mind thoughts around a bit take care and everyones issues are important you are important.
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