just called kidshelpline

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by lav11, Aug 17, 2012.

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  1. lav11

    lav11 Well-Known Member

    I spent a good hour and a half balling my eyes out.. The T wants mw to call back tomorrow but i really dont want to survive the night... Theres just sooo much going on that i cant handle..
    She asked me to name a few things that are on my mind.. Court case, being sexually assaulted again, wanting to get kicked out of the house, food and diets, my mum, the funeral today, one of my abusers thinking about getting another gun.. theres way to much to even think about and i cracked.. I couldnt even think just spent the whole time on the fone crying and just saying how i hate myself for being like this..

    The counsellor asked if i was going to be ok and what my plans for the rest of the night were... I told her id be fine.. Honestly though.. Im not sure if i will e
  2. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    so sorry everything feels so horrible right now

    i've found from 35 years of experience that these feelings can ease up, maybe pass, enough that you can cope with all that's going on

    hold on as best you can, keep talking - here or helpine, whatever you can handle - i'll do my best to listen
  3. lav11

    lav11 Well-Known Member

    Thanks. I jst cant deal with it anymore.. I dont want to..

    I dont want to live in a worldhere this is all im worth.. Being continuosly abused.. I want to get away from it all but there is no way...
    Lifes pointless anyways...

    The helpline i think at this point would just call the cops on me... Im that close to doing somethig atm... No copd are being called on me tonight...
  4. Samara

    Samara Account Closed

    Whoever is abusing you, charge them with it, get social services on their ass etc... etc.... etc...

    It's tedious now to face that, but ask your therapist for more resources, more people to talk to, more people to see other than what you have on the go right now.

    Also, it seems you might be in personal contact with one of the abusers, that should be cut off. I know that I don't know every single detail of your entire life, but continued contact with an abuser, as you already know only furthers your trauma and stress. Obviously hearing that they are getting another gun, doesn't help you at all.

    The quote above is the money shot right there. This is something that should have been said to the help line, or to your therapist; so that they know exactly what you are dealing with. They would ask who is abusing you, answer them.

    Those people are there for you, and only you. The cops too are not always there to ruin your life; sometimes they are there to make sure people stop ruining your life.

    There have to be other ways around your situations, or other things that can be done. Obviously you deserve more, you know it; but whatever circumstances you are in right now are not giving you much leeway.
  5. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    at this moment you really don't know your own worth because it has been dictated by others who have been horribly controlling your life - you haven't been given the chance to see that you are worth so much more

    agree with samara about what you need to tell the help line/therapist - i live in the US but have to believe that there are agencies or groups can help get you out of abusive situations

    it may be hard but i hope you can see that we here know - not guess, KNOW - that you are worth so much more than you feel you are
  6. lav11

    lav11 Well-Known Member

    Ive been speaking to this therapist on kidshelpline for about 3-4 years now, just the same worker.. I do have a face to face counsellor but i am on non speaking terms with her at the moment because of some things she said to me in our last session...

    I have told them tht i am being abused... Both poluce and child protection have been notified.. Child protection did a small investigation ( for the zillionth time) but cancelled it pretty quickly as no one else was willing to make allegations... . I also did make an informal statement to the police but it wont be investigated further as i didnt finish the statement because i would of been haveing to name every assault and my T sad that maybe i shouldnt be doing it that day as itwould be too traumatising and because i kept haveing flashback id freeze up and not be able to gie a statement that would be of the best help... Ive also blocked alot out so for heaps of questions i wouldnt be able to aanswer....

    Ive been trying to get away from this my whole life... Theres no way out...

    I see that particular abuser when my mother decides to visit him and make me go with her.. Generally speaking i dont even know unfil im in the car tha she says we are going to see him...
  7. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    What about asking your T to be with you when you talk to the police? Is that possible?
  8. lav11

    lav11 Well-Known Member

    She was there.. She also agreed that it was best if i didnt make the statement at thaylt moment in time
  9. Wastingecho

    Wastingecho Well-Known Member

    can she make any other suggestions on how you can escape the situation?
  10. lav11

    lav11 Well-Known Member

    not really, ive spoken to her about it alot but no-one has any real suggestions... kinda over it..
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