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Just cant do this anymore...

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LetItGo

Staff Alumni
#1
I wrote a list, its called "The Last Two Weeks"

The intention was to write down a list of positive things that I could post in the positive messages section, based on an imaginary 2 weeks in my life starting tommorow. Ive written down 11 things so far, all achievable within 2 weeks.

Im sitting here looking at what I wrote and I just know ill never do a single one.

Im so fucking down, so numb, im really sliding into the abyss.

Ive been thinking a lot about my future lately, dreaming of what it could be like if I was a different person, if I thought differently, if I was wired different, if was born in a different place, at a different time, but pray as I do for a bolt of lightning to take me away, and replace this person with somebody else...It never happens.

Im so fucking lonely, Ive never felt this alone in my entire life. Every day I wake up, and every day is the same. In my bed - alone. Id do anything just to hold someone for one night, I dont care about sex, I just want to know what its like to hold a woman in my arms again.

Im faceless, emotionless, and bound to nothing apart from the passing of time. Misery is my only friend.

Miss Misery.

i'll fake it through the day
with some help from johnny walker red
send the poison rain down the drain
to put bad thoughts in my head
your two tickets torn in half
and a lot of nothing to do
do you miss me, miss misery
like you say you do?
a man in the park
read the lines in my hand
told me i'm strong
hardly ever wrong i said man you mean
you had plans for both of us
that involved a trip out of town
to a place i've seen in a magazine
that you left lying around
i don't have you with me but
i keep a good attitude
do you miss me, miss misery
like you say you do?
i know you'd rather see me gone
than to see me the way that i am
but i am in the life anyway
next door the tv's flashing
blue frames on the wall
it's a comedy of errors, you see
it's about taking a fall
to vanish into oblivion
is easy to do
and i try to be but you know me
i come back when you want me to
do you miss me miss misery
like you say you do?

...I cant do this anymore...its all too much.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
#2
You can do this. I know its a lot and I know its hard, but you can do this. You need to look for some help, because its really hard to do it just on your own. Please, hold on, I know you can do this
 

LetItGo

Staff Alumni
#3
:( Im still here, fuck if only I had the balls to do what I know I should do, its just gotta happen. Im trying to stay in there, but every day is wearing me down, I feel like a fucking zombie, theres no light at the end of the tunnel.
 
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