just can't go on....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by makuna, Sep 26, 2014.

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  1. makuna

    makuna New Member

    I have been having suicidal thoughts all day, there is a number of reasos to why, mainly the fact I can't accept myself or my appearance rather! I feel super inferior and ugly to other men, besides girls only care about appearance, I just wish I could change how I look... Spending hours a day repeteadly mirror checking my flaws and how disgusting I look, I am house bound because I am to ashamed to be seen in public. On top of that being diagnosed with clinical depression and severe anxiety also stops me from leaving the house, my depression stems from my upbringing which I will not go into detail here, but I am so alone and nobody understands me here....I just can't accept being ugly and inferior tho my image in the mirror makes me feel sick and depressed, this may sound stupid but its my problem that won't go away, I know I will never accept myself and I feel like punishing myself because the way I look....I'd like to commit suicide so I can stop feeling like this everyday,I am never hhappen and I've reached the end of the line.....
  2. random33

    random33 Well-Known Member

    I'm very sorry to hear about your problems, know that you have a safe harbour here to vent. Having clinical depression you need the help of a doctor to help get through this, I know how you are feeling, but know that things can get better, your feelings are for the most part a symptom of depression, so you need to treat it.

    You are not inferior to anyone because of your exterior appearance, you are what you are and everyone is different, different does NOT mean better or worse, you need to adress your depression, once the depression improves, your mind will be clearer and you will be able to look at yourself in a more realistic way and eventually accept yourself, I know this seems like an impossible goal right now, but it is not, we are here for you, please hang in there.
  3. I understand. A lot of what you describe is similar to my experiences with anxiety and depression. I know that no words will help you, but i am listening
  4. I feel exactly the same as how you do except im a woman. I dont go out either. I hate my self and everything about me and the stupid tablets they gave me did nothing for me except make me over weight. This is a cruel world we live in. I totally get where your coming from. Sorry i cant say anything to cheer you up, im in a vunerable state my self, i just thought it might help you to know your not alone in how your feeling. I tottally relate to everything you said here
  5. Mel2809

    Mel2809 Active Member

    I just want to say...I am so sorry for what you ate going through. I also can't stand the way I look...and some days when my acne acts up or I get cold sore I would rather not show my face in public much less the hallways in my apt building. I also suffer from severe clinical depression and anxiety all stemming from my up bringing. Its a hard life that people like us were dealt, but we were all (yes even you sweetie) put on this earth for a reason. You just have to figure out what it is. But first you have to work on getting yourself in a better frame of mind however you see doing this.
    And just so you know...not all women are all about physical appearances. There are some of us that believe beauty comes from the heart and soul. Hang in there!!
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