This is going to probably sound pathetic, but please hear me out. I am very shy, borderline agoraphobic. I rarely leave the house. I have no friends. I am isolated almost all the time. I really am starved for personal connections with people. I have a very hard time making friends or even acquintences. I've fallen lately into a deep depression just from being so lonely. Even online I find it very difficult to make friends. I just can't connect with others. Recently someone on another forum sent me a private message asking if I wanted to be e-mail buddies, and I learned that they were in a pretty similar situation to mine. I was so happy. You don't know how good it made me feel to actually have someone WANT to talk to me! We sent messages back and forth for about a week, and all of a sudden they sent me a message overnight and then deleted it before I could read it. Now the person is totally ignoring me (while they continue to post on the forum like nothing ever happened) and I feel destroyed. I've sent multiple messages that they just read and ignore. I guess this sounds pathetic, but to have someone finally want to really talk to me and then suddenly totally cut off contact kills me. My mind is racing with ideas of what I could have possibly done wrong, said wrong. I am very open about my life on this other forum. I've posted pictures of myself. All I can think of is that I must have done something wrong. Maybe I am too ugly. There are 100 maybes and I just can't stop thinking about it. I opened myself up to this person on a personal level, and this is something I can rarely do. All I wanted was a friend. This is so pathetic. I felt like I was near rock bottom before this happened, but now I have hit a new low. There is just something deeply wrong with me and I don't even know what it is. Maybe it's the years of isolating myself and not developing acceptable social skills. There must be something wrong with me to turn people off from me this much. This isn't the first time something just like this has happened. I thought about asking the person to at least give me the dignity of a response. Maybe I'd ask them to at least tell me what I've done wrong that made them totally ignore me. However, the last thing I want is for someone to talk to me because they felt obligated. That's why I felt so good when this all first started, because they reached out to ME and wanted to talk to me. It was one of the first times I actually felt wanted by another person, as sad as that might sound. I just can't make personal connections with other people and I can't take it much longer. A simple thing like this is something that most people take for granted, yet I am starved for. It's one of the basic human needs. Everyone wants to be able to connect with others on some kind of level. Every day I think of suicide, of all the different methods and ways I could do it. I think about how it would put me at peace, and kill this unfillable hunger to have a human connection with others. All I want is to be wanted, if that makes any sense. To have someone that wanted to talk to me or be around me. I think I would be in heaven on earth if by some miracle someone ever LOVED me. I just can't cope with this for much longer. Life feels so hollow and meaningless when you are truly alone in it.