I haven't posted in this part of the forum yet mostly out of fear. I know that might seem odd since I joined up for this kind of support, but I just get anxious is all. Today, though, I just feel like I need to get it off my chest and need someone to talk to. I'm so anxious today I feel physically ill. It's not the first time I've been afraid of myself... but it's the first time it's been this bad. I'm sure that didn't make any sense at all. My mind is thinking faster that I myself can process the thoughts. Er, well, the thoughts have steadily been growing more frequent. I have a phone now as of like two days ago, but I'm too terrified to call a hotline. I'm not sure how to work up the courage to do so, either. I don't have a plan yet, but my mind is slowly coming up with one almost on its own. Every little thing seems to be setting me off today. Someone said something rude to me and it just made me feel so small. Even though that person is always rude, so it shouldn't have surprised me at all. I just feel so scared and yet... the thoughts are almost comforting. How is it possible to be numb and sad at the same time? It took me about ten minutes to pull up the courage to post this.