just can't shake it today

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Growing Pains, Jun 2, 2011.

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  1. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    I haven't posted in this part of the forum yet mostly out of fear. I know that might seem odd since I joined up for this kind of support, but I just get anxious is all. Today, though, I just feel like I need to get it off my chest and need someone to talk to. I'm so anxious today I feel physically ill. It's not the first time I've been afraid of myself... but it's the first time it's been this bad. I'm sure that didn't make any sense at all. My mind is thinking faster that I myself can process the thoughts.

    Er, well, the thoughts have steadily been growing more frequent. I have a phone now as of like two days ago, but I'm too terrified to call a hotline. I'm not sure how to work up the courage to do so, either. I don't have a plan yet, but my mind is slowly coming up with one almost on its own. Every little thing seems to be setting me off today. Someone said something rude to me and it just made me feel so small. Even though that person is always rude, so it shouldn't have surprised me at all. I just feel so scared and yet... the thoughts are almost comforting. How is it possible to be numb and sad at the same time?

    It took me about ten minutes to pull up the courage to post this.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi i know it seems scarey calling those hotlines but the people on the other side of that phone do care. You just let the dial tone go thru and tell them your anxious scared and they will help you talk to you reassure you . I too get like you do when the mind goes so fast i find hearing a real voice helps so much.
    give it a try okay I sometimes have to try 3-4 times before i let it the dial tone go through all the way but when i do i never regret in hun
    They care that is why they do that job so try okay hugs to you:hugtackles::hugtackles:
     
  3. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I hope you are feeling better today. I am always scared to call a hotline as well. I have never called myself. I always find solace here. Just remember there are many people coping with similar feelings and you are not alone. Maybe lie down and take a nap?
     
  4. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    Thank you both. :hug:

    I'm feeling a little better today. Just a little. I think I'm going to try to pull up the courage to call a hotline today. It might be a good thing for me. It's just really scary when it feels like you're not in control of your thoughts. I really hope today turns out to be a better day for me, too.
     
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    ^_^ good luck friend... I wish I could find the courage to call them when I am having a swing.
     
  6. Tinkerbell.

    Tinkerbell. Member

    I am the same i feel scared of calling them too.I hope you feel better and that you did call them :console:
     
  7. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Try talking to your pdoc and ask him about putting you on geodon or abilify..They both control irrational thinking..Some times the geodon has side affects but they can put you on cogentin to fight the side affects.. It works for me..Also talk to him about putting you on a benzo drug like xanax to fight the anxiety.. I hope this helps..
     
  8. Growing Pains

    Growing Pains Well-Known Member

    I'm trying to make today a better one. I got out of the house last night... went to see the new PotC with my sister and her bf. I think getting out of the house was good for me... sometimes, I just start feeling trapped here...

    Calling them can be really, really scary. But helpful. I hope you both can manage to if you ever feel you need to, as well. :hug:

    And having you post alone is helpful to me. I'll keep both of those in mind. Thanks for the advice everyone. There's still thoughts of ending it in the back of my mind, but they seem a bit further back today.
     
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