Just cant take it anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by loyalrealigion, Aug 22, 2014.

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  1. My mind is made up and it has been for a while now that if I loose my fiance I will undoubtedly kill myself . I refuse to live without her , I just cant . For the 1st time in my entire life I have experienced what it feels like to be happy and feel somewhat loved . I have an extremely difficult time coping with the fact she is military at all but now she has decided to go from reserves to active duty . Everyone I love or that has ever given a darn about me I loose and Im just tired of it my heart trully can not take anymore
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You are not losing her then she is chosing to go to active duty as many army personal do she has not said she is leaving you right
    You support her in her dedcision and be there for HER
  3. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Its quite hard to have a loved one in the military. Have you thoight about support groups for miltary spouses?
  4. Its so hard to support something that I feel like I was given no consideration in . I want to support her I really do I just dont think I can live with that extra fear each and every day . She doesn't know if I can come or not but she made it very clear that she will go with or without me which really hurt I try to tell her how depressed I really am but I dont think she really grasps just how bad I want to take my life each and every day . Im tryingto get help bc I dont want to loose her but a lot of times I feel like I already lost her and she's just here still here bc she doesnt want to feel like its her fault when I die
  5. I have never thought about it but that is a good idea to consider now that you have mentioned it and I know that there is a such thing now . I will def have to look into that
  6. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I am so sorry to hear that you are in a state but you need with depression and thoughts. Life is tough and relationships are also hard. In life, we try our best to please everyone and care for them. Please do not be hard on yourself as you seem a nice person. Please DO NOT DO ANYTHING but keep posting here. Just please take one day at a time.
  7. Before I met her I was just in the streets but now I am working 3 legitimate legal jobs and care a lot more about my school work . I got hurt on one of my jobs and cant work right now so its put us in a really bad financial spot so I feel like its my fault she wants to go because Im not taking care of her the way she wants or thehigh standard lifestyle that she is used to and deserves . The bills are paid and we have food all I try to do is show her love and make her feel special but its likenothing I do is ever good enough for her no matter how hard I try . I do things for her that most women would kill for and sometimes I feel like sge doesn't appreciate me at all but a lot of times I know its just my depression getting the best of me no matter how much I try to convince my mind of that it doesnt change how I feel which in turn hurts her and I hate myself for it because she is the best thing to ever happen to me . I just wish I knew how to be happy . I try to focus onone day at a time and just stay busy but every night I find myself restless working on plans to end it all all over again which is a lot of why im so glad I stumbled across this site
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