just cant take it anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Johnnie, Sep 12, 2014.

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  1. Johnnie

    Johnnie Member

    I've had 3 attempts over the past couple months and things just aren't getting better. It was taking so long to get help through a prescriber, I just gave up. My therapist doesn't know about any of my attempts and the sessions are the only place where I feel alive so I don't talk about it. He keeps after me about getting a prescriber, but doesn't push me too much on that. Its hard when there's nobody to talk to. I feel like I just pretend I'm ok in my sessions just to avoid talking about it. Not sure if any of this is making sense to anyone.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi Johnnie it makes sense i do hope you are able thought to be honest with your therapist. It is the only way to help you ok so please be open and truthful so you can get help you need hugs
  3. snogo

    snogo Well-Known Member

    If you can't open up to your therapist, is there someone else in mind at the moment? What kind of person would make you feel at ease enough to talk to about these attempts?
  4. Johnnie

    Johnnie Member

    i was forced to go into the hospital in september for 3 days. the place was awful. i never tell my therapist anymore about what im feeling because I cant go back there. i was ok for a while but only because i was on autopilot. does anyone know how to navigate prescribers better? im on a waiting list just to see one until march
  5. turryburry

    turryburry Well-Known Member

    I think if you tell your therapist you're willing to give meds four weeks to work before thinking about doing something drastic he'll be able to get you in somewhere without the trip to the hospital first.
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Johnnie,

    There is a solution (from my point of view anyway) you can sign a promise note of not harming yourself if you talk about what is bothering you, explain the hospital made you worse and was a terrible unsatisfactory experience. You MUST be honest otherwise there is no point of seeing them but I do get that you are scared to open up try the promise and see where that goes. I think you should try and get medications prescribed because for me anyway they go hand in hand, therapy combined with medications has changed my life obviously for the better. Some, mainly the anti depressants can take 6-8 weeks to work so you need patience too.
    I hope you do the right thing and just talk and remember we are always here for you too. I hope people in your country can help you with the prescribing issue right now. March is way too long for someone who is very depressed.

    Wishing you all the best.
  7. Summit

    Summit Member

    I think the ONLY time I feel hope is with my therapist. He truly cares about me and doesn't want me to take my life. I know my family loves me but they seem so busy and I don't feel ANYONE really pays attention to me ever. I only feel alive and okay with my doc. Soon as I'm a mile away, I feel like <mod edit - methods> paralyzed with no way to find a way to end my life. THAT would be torture. I'd go completely crazy then.
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