I've had 3 attempts over the past couple months and things just aren't getting better. It was taking so long to get help through a prescriber, I just gave up. My therapist doesn't know about any of my attempts and the sessions are the only place where I feel alive so I don't talk about it. He keeps after me about getting a prescriber, but doesn't push me too much on that. Its hard when there's nobody to talk to. I feel like I just pretend I'm ok in my sessions just to avoid talking about it. Not sure if any of this is making sense to anyone.