It has been a while since I was here last. I guess I have just been keeping myself blissfully occupied. Which is just fine and probably a good thing. I find that distraction keeps my mind from snapping. In fact it reinforces the wall that I use to hold off my emotions... or more my desires to kill myself. These days I just sort of coast through life. Not really happy.. mostly just a neutral state. I keep my mind busy a lot so I do not feel down. Well that is until I get bored or something like that. Then my mind wanders off. I have been told I think about things too much.. I guess that happens too. So how much longer do I have to coast through life? When will I run into a rock and stop coasting?