Just confuesed

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SLK, Oct 28, 2009.

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  1. SLK

    SLK Member

    Hi everyone i am new to this site and wanted to introduce myself im SLK im 29 and have always had suicidal thoughts since i can remember i was prolly about 12 when all this bullshit started in my life..we all go through people saying they dont love us at some point i dont really care anymore about that you dont love me for whatever reason that's your problem i just wish i could find a way to love myself...i was my happiest for going on a year now up untill last night..my girlfriend of a year told me she hates me wishes she could kill me and if she couldnt she wishes i would just die..point blank that sucked this was the first time i had the privilege to say i was inlove i know what love isnt and i know im in love with her..but how can a person sit there who says they are in love with me also and wish that upon someone..she knows i wouldnt have a problem killing myself i just dont know what methods to use i have been all over the net trying to find the quickest way that guarantees my departure..i dont have access to a gun nor do i have the money to buy one..i just dont understand am i just using her and the situation as an excuse for doing it..i always knew i would end my life so i guess i have been waiting for this moment for a while..but there is always some little piece of hope preventing me from actually doing it..i guess i will know when the time is right...sorry i havnt made much sense im very confuesed..thank you to whoever reads my post it means alot to me
     
  2. jeff2674

    jeff2674 Member

    So just because she was mad and said something very inappropirate you are wanting to kill yourself? Why are you putting your own self-worth into what she says? Where is the confidence in yourself? Why rely on others to make you feel a certain way?

    Start doing things for yourself, for your future. If she is going to be that immature and say those things to you then you are best to tell her 'Until you can talk to me in an adult way, don't bother with me at all'. I know I am quite older than you and even me being married my wife says some very hurtful things. At first I took it all to heart and would ask myself 'What is wrong with me?' I then over a course of time realized it wasn't me, it was her attitude.

    It's a lot better feeling to have the confidence to say 'Get lost, I don't need your attitude' than thinking of killing yourself because you feel neglected and rejected by someone who is suppose to love you. Don't make any decisions based on emotion, they are usually always the wrong and regretful decisions.

    Instead of searching for ways to kill yourself, the next search you do, do one on 'how to build self confidence'. You will get MUCH better results. Trust me!
     
  3. SLK

    SLK Member

    It goes much deeper than her it just hurt she is like the rest of the people i know and who are supposed to love me..she was just the icing on the cake if you have 10 people telling you are blue then why go with 1 telling you that you are yellow i fear im not strong to hold off the inevitable...i may think one thing that im an ok person but when the rest tell you your not..it's time to open my eyes that the rest may be right im a worthless piece of shit looser who needs to die so the world will be a better place..and thats just coming from my mom..so if everyone who says they love me claims the world would be a better place without me well maybe there right..maybe there really is something fucking so awful about me..time will tell
     
  4. ODIECOM

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    first of all, you need to stop living your life through someone elses eyes.
    just like your doing right now, your looking for confirmation on what they tell you.
    for years, my mother and the kids at school told me how worthless i was, etc etc.
    it took along time to change the way i thought about ME. i dont give a damn what ppl think about me. if someone doesnt think im worth their time or the air they breath ... screw them.
    you have to decide when you are going to be the person you are and not the person ppl make you believe you are.

    maybe there are things you can change about yourself. only you know that.
    nothing will change until YOU CHANGE. your thoughts have to change first.
    your thoughts about YOU.

    if my girlfriend said something like that to me ... i wouldnt sit there and ride the pity pony about it ... she would be riding the horse she rode in on ...OUTTA my life.

    we become so infested with other ppls opinions about us, we start believing them. get rid of the girl and find yourself.
    start living your life. change what you think you have to and not what others think you should.
    be yourself. dont be like some laid out clothes someone set out for you to wear just because you believe what they say.
    get some guts and stand up for you.

    odies thoughts.
     
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