Just confused I guess

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by del lago, Aug 29, 2014.

  1. del lago

    del lago Member

    I guess I just need to vent a little bit here, and I feel just hopeless about the whole situation. There's a guy I've liked for a while, and for a while we were hanging out, having a good time and I thought he liked me too. The signs were there, the coy glances, the subtle breaks in the touch barrier, the flirting back and forth, the texting back and forth for hours. Then all of a sudden, it stopped. He started getting more hours at work, which is great for him and I totally understand, but he wouldn't text me anymore, I wouldn't hear from him for days at a time, and he stopped showing up to social events. The social events I understand, getting a lot of hours means less time for leisure activities, but I don't understand the complete halt in communication.

    Then he got a second job, again, that's great for him, he needs all the financial security he can get, he's going to start college soon, he needs the money, but what I don't understand is why he's cut himself off from society. I thought it was just me he was pulling away from, and I was very hurt, but come to find out, he's barely been speaking to anyone else in our group of friends. From what I gathered from them (they've known him much longer than I have) he was never very good at texting people back, and when he would always respond to me, it made me feel, dare I say special. I thought we had something going, I thought I had a chance. Lately I've been very insecure with myself, but I put on a mask of self confidence. Everyone I know is under the impression that I am still that strong, sassy woman that knows exactly what she wants and exactly how to get it, and honestly i would prefer it that way, I hate relying on friends to reassure me all the time. I'm hoping it's just a funk I've fallen into and will break out of soon. With that fact being said, I felt good, I was like a giddy little school girl, and when communication slowed and stopped, I came crashing down from that high and burned pretty badly. He even went so far as to say he would be tied up for upwards of a few months.

    I guess I'm sitting here wondering if that was his way of saying he wasn't interested, or if he's being honest and doesn't think he has time for our shennanigans anymore, or if he's trying to do that whole 'if you care about someone set them free' kind of thing, trying to see if I'll stick around despite the situation. I'm very confused, I'm in a pretty bad place emotionally already, I've been suffering from loneliness issues for some time, and now losing one of the people that was there for me is messing with me pretty hard.

    Sorry if this is all over the place and doesn't make much sense, i just needed a place to get it all out and maybe get an outside perspective on it all...I don't know, but I'm just lonely and confused and a little hurt.
     
  2. Cooki

    Cooki Well-Known Member

    Hey del lago
    I know what you feel like. Being lonely sucks and this not knowing what exactly is up is also driving one crazy. It's good to talk :)
    I think he just doesn't have much time. Time is mostly the problem in today's world. You can text him once in a while and wait for him to answer though (ask something, otherwise he'll probably ignore it if he sees it a day later or even just a few hours). If he doesn't answer to a simple question like "how are you doing?" or something about how work's going or so, he really doesn't have any time. If he answers he cares enough for you to check his messages and write back, which is quite much if one doesn't have time.
    I'd say you should think positive :)
     
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I think Cooki had good advice worth considering - let it go with a very occasional text so he knows you are interested when schedule opens up - but I would add to that it means you are not too busy if another opportunity comes up and so would certainly be looking and waiting as opposed to just waiting.