I'm gonna cry myself to sleep tonight and when I wake up tommorow I'm gonna wish I was dead. I'm so weak and pathetic. I can't even write this under my own username. I found a way to make it look like a real accident. something I have access to right now. and I can't even go through with it. All I have to do is sit back and wait, but I'm such a coward I can't do it. All this time thinking about it and when the moment is right at my grasp, I fail. I fail at everything. I'm a no-talent loser with nothing left TO lose and I can't even do it. I know there's not a chance for me left in this life. Everything is wrong. No one cares or will ever and yet it's so fucking hard to let it go. Every part of me wants it, but why then can't I just do it?? I don't want to wake up tommorow or the next day or the next and on and on like this. I feel so finished with this life. I know it's my time. I know I can do it, but for god's sake, why won't I?????