Just done

[jb225]

That's it. I have never sunk so far down before. I am a burden on my family, damaging to my kids, as a parent with depression. I'm just done. I have my plan and i am ready. It just kills me thinking about my girls, but i think in the long run it will be better for them.

 

[Spidy71]

hello
I have 3 girls and a boy was thinking what you are now you will do nothing but destroy them.Whats happening can you explain a little what is happening.You will find support here and understanding please vent with us.

 

[jb225]

Nothing is happening. There is no event per se. I am hurting my kids. My wife tells me so. Right now, i have sunk so low and i try to keep it up. But i can't. I can't leave my room, i sit in the dark. I can hear my family. My daughter brought me sugar cookie and she said, i love you, daddy, i want you to be happy. I told her i love her, too. I told her i was happy. She knows it's not true. I wish it would be ok, but i can't think of how it can be. I don't think my wife cares one way or the other. My daughter said, i am worried about daddy. My wife said, why? What did he say to you? As if i would say something to upset her! It's just so far gone and i can't think my way out.

 

[Spidy71]

Dude okay are you seeking any help etc ya doc a therapist as you do need some support

 

[jb225]

I'm not. Keep meaning to, shopped around. Contacted some therapists but never actually get in the door. Right now, i wish i had.

 

[jb225]

I did for a while before i should say. I have tried it. I was diagnosed with severe chronic depression twenty years ago.

 

[Spidy71]

dude im 40 i was sexually abused okay 26 yrs later ive started dealing with this.But i did loos e mum dad on the way then my wife and all my lifes work became homeless lalalalala i can go on what im trying to say here is help is great but you too have to accept it.I know its a battle im actually facing a new challenge which involves my daughter yet i know i have to find my own strength.Something with guidence is what you do have to find and will be something you can one day pass to your kids how to be strong.It does take work but its worth it trust me.Glad you are able to vent here and please do it as much as ya need.Take care

 

[jb225]

Ok, thanks for the help...

 

[Spidy71]

Really hope i have helped and do use this forum as you will get support

 

[pickwithaustin]

When you love your kids, you do anything and everything you can to make them happy. Do you think what you want to do would make them happy?

Make your children happy. Fight for wellness and get some assistance from the professionals. It's never to late and you can always try this or try that, turn around and start again... but from that one thing you suggest, there is no second chances.

 

[jb225]

That's all great advice. Right now i am having trouble gettng through the day, even out of bed. I'm glad that there are others who know wjat i am ralking about because i have nobody around me who can help.

 

[Spidy71]

Please use the advice hey been where you are

 

[jb225]

My girls really are so sweet, they don't deserve bad things in their lives.

 

[Spidy71]

You get better mate and watch them grow i m same love my kids and want to be here for them stay strong bud

 

[Silex_Drade]

What bothers me the most it that people will never understand. God, my life is unbelievably and endlessly pointless!