just dont care anymore

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MistyMaisy, Sep 21, 2011.

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  1. MistyMaisy

    MistyMaisy Well-Known Member

    i just really dont care about much anymore. im a disgrace to human kind..the night i was raped is the only reason im good to anyone..i really just want to die
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    You were the victim and you have been left with the pain...that is just unfair...please be kinder to yourself...you did not deserve it and are not a disgrace...J
     
  3. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    :hug: I am writing you to let you know that I'm listening. How is homeschool going?...Alex
     
  4. MistyMaisy

    MistyMaisy Well-Known Member

    i got put back into public school..homeschool was crap..
     
  5. IWantToBelieve

    IWantToBelieve Active Member

    What you have gone through is terrible, but you have endured it, and you have the strength to go on with your life. Why do you think you are a disgrace? You sound like a sensitive and caring person who has gone through a lot of pain. That (pain) can desensitize anybody and make them feel numb.

    Why didn't you like being homeschooled?
     
  6. MistyMaisy

    MistyMaisy Well-Known Member

    im a disgrace because im ugly stupid and fat. no one will ever want me for more than just a toy..
    i didnt like homeschool because..it was more confusing than public school. i missed seeing everyone. i felt like i was just..missing out
     
  7. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    I realized that I missed seeing everyone too; I know what you mean.. even though I felt like a loner while in high school. Despite my feeling pressure while at school (grades, to behave well, etc.), I think being there made my school years pass by more quickly.
     
  8. MistyMaisy

    MistyMaisy Well-Known Member

    it's a drag having to wake up early every day though..then again, i had to wake up early being home schooled
     
  9. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    For sure, same here. Having to get up at 7:30 in order to arrive at school before 8:00 was one of the worst things for me about high school. I'm sorry to hear that you had to wake up early for homeschool. Wish they could have been more flexible with you about that. Well.. anyways.. apart from that, how has public school been?
     
  10. MistyMaisy

    MistyMaisy Well-Known Member

    i have to wake up at 6:30..lucky, you had an extra hour.
    public school has been okay i guess. people being mean there but that's always been there. kinda expected from a school y'know.
    the middle school got raided by the police. 3 drug dealers were caught...in a middle school...
    how do you..all the people on this part of the forum (Suicide Crisis part) need help and im just whining here..i should stop and actually help some people, y'know. maybe then i'd feel better about myself too..sounds like a good idea
     
  11. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Big hugs to you. :hugtackles:
     
  12. IWantToBelieve

    IWantToBelieve Active Member

    You don't sound stupid at all, even if you feel that way.

    Being ugly and fat, first of all, doesn't make anybody a human disgrace. That's ridiculous. Being beautiful is easy and doesn't take much effort (it's mostly luck), so there is no merit in it, and it doesn't make you a better person. I don't consider myself good looking either and I have struggled with that feeling constantly, but the fact is that in my experience other people are far less critical of our looks than we are ourselves.

    Second of all (regarding being ugly and fat) you can improve that to a large extent. I honestly wouldn't focus on that, because if those feelings are what make you an unhappy person you have bigger problems than that.

    The fact is that this is a struggle for many people (including you and me.) Haven't you ever seen people that are objectively much worse looking that you are and yet seem perfectly happy and content with who they are? I bet you that your perception of yourself is actually much of the problem. Other people pick on our self perception, and when you have poor self esteem it will cause cruel people (of which the world is full of) to attack you and take advantage of you. Don't let that happen!

    Best wishes, and talk to you soon.
     
  13. Illusion

    Illusion Well-Known Member

    Ana... You're not a disgrace to human kind. They're billions of us in this world. Take away the politics, society settings, etc and you realize that no human truly has a higher nor lower title than the other. I'm not one to be giving advice cause of the stuff I often say about myself to you but I will say this.. You're beautiful to me. You also have a great personality as well as intelligence. You're just letting that dark side we all have get the best of you. I know you can fight it off. You're so likable. If anything, when I was still in school I envied how likable you were.
     
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