Just dont know what to think

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by jenj, Jan 25, 2010.

  1. jenj

    jenj Member

    My body developed a tolerance to Nitrazepam (benzo) so i got changed to the equivalent of Valium, 20mg at night for 1 week, then 15mg for 1 week, then 10 mg for 1 week, and then 5mg for one week, I start the 5mg from thursday. Since this change things seem to have changed, It still takes me hours to get to sleep, but i have started waking in the night again, and i dont know why but for some reason i wake up and eat, 3am this morning was a whole packet of biscuits, the day before a block of chocolate and the day before half a tub of ice cream! I cant seem to stop myself, its odd, i have never been a huge eater. Also i have started drinking alcahol, not alot, but for 3 yrs since having my kids i have probably had a drink 6 times in a year. Now i have been having a little something each night, usually vodka each night, i take my valium with it and i get to sleep easier, but i still wake up and in the mornings i feel so much more lethargic. I know i dont have a drinking problem as its only been over the last 5 weeks this has started, but i want to drink all the time, im scared it may develop into an issue. I wonder about the eating, i dont usually eat much when people are around, just when im on my own/with my kids. My thoughts of self harm are becoming a regular thing again, also self medicating (not too overdose) Just extra too make me sleep and stuff. I feel like im sinking again, but i feel like im out of myself looking in, its weird. I dont know what the point of this post was really, i just dont know lately.