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just end it

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by corang, Mar 4, 2009.

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  1. corang

    corang Well-Known Member

    thats what i keep telling myself "just end it, just do it, just do it" repeating over and over
    well tomorrow im gunna go to town get what i need, find a nice place where no one will find me for a while and do it. The only reason ive lived this long was my gf she was that last thread keeping me alive but the weight of the emotional pain is too much and the thread snapped today. My emotional pain is bad enough i cant stop thinking about it then get horrible headaches that dont go away all day.
    Every day i think about doing it no matter how great the day is the same thoughts keep coming back ... how can i do it with the items in this room, when can i do it, if i do it who would actually care, would anyone in this room try to save me? I hate myself for having these thoughts for no good reason especially on good days.
    This time ill do it right i didnt tell anyone i was doing it so no1 can tell my parents.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 4, 2009
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    of course, we all care!!!!!!! and most can help in their own way. I've had a lot of life experience with horrible loss, thoughts and plans, drug use, presecription meds from psychs. 20+ yrs of therapy. I'm still here....losing a gf is nothing...I had my heart torn out and stepped on several times. It can be dealt with. How old are you and have yoou been diagnosed with mental illness, clinical depression, non-diagnosesd depression?...can I send you a pm.?:unsure:
  3. corang

    corang Well-Known Member

    I didnt lose her but her being the only person who seems to love me has made me feel so crappy :(
    Im 17 been diagnosed with severe depression and feel free to PM me
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 4, 2009
  4. corang

    corang Well-Known Member

    Im still here and it seems i will be for a while ... the people at the store seemed to know what i was planning and wouldnt sell me what i wanted
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Coran honey, we care. We are here for you :hug:

    Are you feeling any better?
  6. corang

    corang Well-Known Member

    I feel a little better since last night, now im not as sure i want to do this. Ive been so miserable lately for no reason :(
  7. corang

    corang Well-Known Member

    I feel like shit now just got back from my old school saw a bunch of friends and they were telling me how the school councilors tried brainwashing them and make me seem like a ghost and act like i never existed if anyone asked about me.
  8. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Well friend...the good news is you do exist. And...one of the lessons of life I had to learn was that people and friends come in and out of your life, all the time. It's not always easy. I had people who were like brothers to me...that years and years ago turned their back on me. Including 2 guys who were my best men at my wedding. Yep I had 2 best man's.

    The important thing is that you exist. And.....you will make new friends and have better days. And....you can even find friends here online.

    I used to be a member at another board where people became so close online that they actually would visit each other, even if it meant driving some distance to do so.

    You never know.

    Hang in there...and we are here for you.
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