Just failed

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by Lexicon, Oct 7, 2010.

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  1. Lexicon

    Lexicon Well-Known Member

    Tried to smother myself, then tried to drown myself in the bath, then stole a lot of vodka and took a packet of paracetamol thinking that would work, but my unfortunately bulimia-damaged stomach instantly revolted against. Threw up all of it. Ended up lying on my bathroom floor with the towel I'd tried to smother myself with next to me, and the bath still full of water, soaking wet hair and a puddle of paracetamol-vomit.

    At least my parents didn't find me. I cleaned up everything, and didn't even have a hangover or anything else when I came to my senses.

    I would have hung myself, but I couldn't. I'm terrified of anything at all touching my neck after I nearly died when I was younger because of a bullying incident.

    I dread to think what may have been left in my system to damage my body.

    I am looking for help now. I didn't go into hospital or anything else, but I mentioned to my counsellor that I tried, quite seriously. He didn't seem to grasp the gravity of the situation, but he has given me coping strategies.

    Oh and before I forget - does stepping in front of cars count as attempted suicide? Given that none have ever come anywhere near to killing me?

    Thanks for listening,

  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    your thoughts of harming yourself need to be looked at Go to hospital okay get a pdoc to assess you and get you on some meds and get you into some community treatments yes going infront of cars is suicidal but you need to know how much damage not only would it have on you but to the person hitting you. Not a kind thing to do to someone else. please stay safe call crisis line get professional help.
  3. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I'm sorry! Not that you failed of course...but that you are at that point.

    Please stay safe and as well as possible! Please don't step in front of cars either...you'll break some bones and probably live for a long time...as a cripple. I know you're hurting but there's help to be had. Meds have worked for me for a long time, though I must admit that they still don't quite do as much for me as when I started them. I see you're fairly new here and I only point that out as we usually start talking about therapy and meds with some of the new people that come through here.

    Have you tried that road already? Again, I'm so sorry for your harrowing day.

    Also, you'll probably notice that there are many people here who have thousands of posts which means that this site works for many people. Because as long as they are here and posting means they are not "gone". I have been here for a year and a half now and as far as I know there have been no more than 3 that i know have that have taken their lives. Power in numbers. Please keep posting...eventually something may click and you may get some substantial, usable advice. In the meantime feel free to pm me. I am not around as much as i used to be so I am not always able to keep up with forum posts. Best of luck...with life, that is!

  4. CheapEscape

    CheapEscape Active Member

    I'm here to talk, if you ever want to. If you ever want to let a lot of things off your chest, I won't judge you. I'm sorry you're where you are in life right now. :( It sounds like you really need to talk to a doctor, someone who will truly grasp the gravity of everything you're doing to yourself, someone who'll be able to help and hopefully give you medicine to help you heal.
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