Just felt like writing it down.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by SkyHigh, Jan 26, 2008.

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  1. SkyHigh

    SkyHigh Guest

    I've gotten to that point where my school grades are falling.

    Teachers just won't get off my back. I don't have the slightest motivation to do anything. I try but I just don't see the point in any of it.

    I want to die but don't know how I can do it and succeed. I wish I had a gun or some pills. I've considered cutting and bleeding to death but the idea doesn't appeal to me anymore. The pain of the blade going deeper than I've ever taken it before. Freezing in the cold in the isolated park. Hearing nothing but the sound of the water in the river. It all seemed like a good plan to me, but not anymore. I want to be somewhere warm when I go. Take about 100 pills before I go to bed. Or better yet if I had a gun I could just end it so quickly that I won't notice what just happened.

    I wish it was summer. Then I would consider bleeding to death. I hate the cold. I want to die in a cosy place. The outside never works for me.

    I wish there was some kind of suicide booth, like in the cartoon futurama.
  2. taranama

    taranama Well-Known Member

    i know its hard at the moment, you need to hang in there, school was one of the single most difficult times of my life, and in college, its not getting much easier, but i know there's light at the end of the tunnel for the both of us, and you have to keep that in mind!

    i tried to kill myself twice, but both times i was caught by people i love, and it was a very scary thing for them, i couldn't explain it to them proplerly, because i was totally numb to everything, but i felt the pain and fear they were going through, i've now decided from their reactions to an attempt i can't do it to them ever...

    please stay safe! and i'm here if you need to chat :)
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Hi Skyhigh. Teachers won't get off your back because they care about you hun. They want you to do your best. I also agree that cutting yourself and bleeding to death is not a good way to go. Have you tried to talk to a teacher about your problems?
  4. SkyHigh

    SkyHigh Guest

    I don't think they care. I would never ever talk to a teacher about my life. I get angry when they ask if everything is ok at home (they've only ever asked once). Teachers would probably make a huge deal out of it. I don't like it when people ask me if I'm ok. It makes me feel worse. I hate people paying too much attention to me, it makes me feel uncomfortable.
  5. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Teacher's are there to help thier students SkyHigh. It's part of our job to keep our students safe. It must be hard to suffer in silence.
  6. SkyHigh

    SkyHigh Guest

    Your a teacher?
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Yeah, but I'm just a supply teacher right now.
  8. SkyHigh

    SkyHigh Guest

    You seem to be helping a lot of other people. I was just wondering....Are YOU ok?
  9. D3ath

    D3ath Well-Known Member

    Dug yourself into a hole there :tongue: Just kidding :).

    I agree with everything you said (apart from the school bits, that's over for me atleast). However yeah i hate the cold, i just want to die comfortably. Just wish i could curl up in my warm bed under my blanket and go sleep and not wake up.
  10. SkyHigh

    SkyHigh Guest


    But I don't know if I can wait for the summer to come back. I can't survive with school for that long.
  11. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Just try your best to hang in there SkyHigh. Do you have some friends at school that you hang out with? I still think that you should try talking to one of your teachers. You don't have to tell him/her everything, just let them know that you're having a difficult time there.
  12. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    hang in there hun :hug:
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