I've gotten to that point where my school grades are falling. Teachers just won't get off my back. I don't have the slightest motivation to do anything. I try but I just don't see the point in any of it. I want to die but don't know how I can do it and succeed. I wish I had a gun or some pills. I've considered cutting and bleeding to death but the idea doesn't appeal to me anymore. The pain of the blade going deeper than I've ever taken it before. Freezing in the cold in the isolated park. Hearing nothing but the sound of the water in the river. It all seemed like a good plan to me, but not anymore. I want to be somewhere warm when I go. Take about 100 pills before I go to bed. Or better yet if I had a gun I could just end it so quickly that I won't notice what just happened. I wish it was summer. Then I would consider bleeding to death. I hate the cold. I want to die in a cosy place. The outside never works for me. I wish there was some kind of suicide booth, like in the cartoon futurama.