so i already posted my sob story so i wont go through all the details, but heres what you need to know right now: i have had one serious relationship which lasted a little more than 3 years, started when i 14 ended near my 18th birthday, im 20 next week, still not over her in the slightest, but she is over me and i need to respect that. so that being said i have 3 options live my life in misery like i have been, hate her as much as i love her now, or find someone new in hopes it will work out. i cant really keep going like i have been, it is literally killing me so unless i end it all (which has definitely been on my mind and doesnt sound half bad), that rules out option 1 option 2 is i could hate her. this would make some of the hurt go away, give me somebody to cast all my problems on ect. however, this woman saved my life. she was (and still is) the most important person in my life, and hating her would probably be the lowest thing to do option 3 is to find a new girl, however there are a few problems with this as well. 1-girls simply arent attracted to me 2-i dont know where to even look (cant go to bars, tried the online thing it did not workout) and 3 if things do workout how will i be able to say i love you with all my heart when my heart belongs to someone else how can i have a child and every time i look at him/her think that they should have had a different mother. and just a heads up, the last thing i want to hear is maybe i should just wait and let my heart heal. it's been going on 3 YEARS!!! time has done nothing but make the hurt deeper.