I found this website a half hour ago, and already my feelings about it are confused. It seems that many people enjoy finding someone who understands how they feel. Obviously many of us are lonely and feel intensely isolated so this makes sense. However, personally I don't relate to that. I doesn't surprise me that others are depressed. I don't pretend that no one can ever understand how I feel. In fact, reading through postings and hearing others say how depressed and suicidal they are doesn't make me feel any better, especially when you read how they've been feeling this way for years. A large part of me doesn't even care how I feel. I care what I DO. What I do or do not accomplish. I am extremely suicidal not because of how I feel. I am suicidal because of my failures in life. I am close to killing myself--and let me be clear, I do not mean a "suicide attempt". I have never done one of those and I never will. I've researched and found a way that is 98% effective in getting the job done right. But obviously I am confused. If I was so certain that suicide was the right decision, why would I be here? Obviously, part of me does not want to do this. So if someone has the time, intelligence, and caring, please message me.