just...frustrated

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by KittyGirl, May 22, 2010.

  1. KittyGirl

    KittyGirl Well-Known Member

    I think that in being a part of online communities- created to help people overcome their struggles- I've actually become an even more negative person.
    I hate myself. I hate everything about myself...
    Not only that- but I've been questioned as to how I could call myself a person with social anxieties if I consider myself an actress/model... because apparently 'beautiful people' (though I am not beautiful in the least) can't be anxious in social situations.

    Seeing people flame and gang up on other people; judging them and dissecting every little thing they say in posts... that's the fucking reason that I don't go in public. I thought these communities were about supporting eachother- not calling them out and giving people shit for posting something when they're feeling down.

    It may not have been this forum; but I'll admit that I've been triggered by alot of things that most people wouldn't consider to be triggering.
    Any time I read someone's post- and they are in pain; I feel that pain as though it were inflicted on myself.

    I understand that people on these forums are in pain and all different people with different attitudes; in different stages of recovery... but I am in pain constantly; and I try my best to always be positive when it comes to other people who need my help.
    Not everyone can be like me, I guess...
    I am the only moron who gives and never takes -___- but I've given away all of the hope that I had, and now I just want to be gone.
    I can't do anything...
    I can't work, I can't leave my room, I can't look at myself in a mirror... I just want to die. I will always be like this as long as I hate myself... and unfortunately-- these places that were designed to help me feel differently and feel comfort in knowing that people were like me are actually making me feel worse about myself.
     
  2. Rukia

    Rukia Well-Known Member

    :hug: You can have some of my hope. If there is anything I can do for you, let me know, ok?
    :hug:
     
  3. SaidDave

    SaidDave Banned Member

    You shouldn't let anyone's negativity drag you down. Negative people bring stress and stress brings health problems, not just mental. I notice big differences when I distance myself from negative people
    Being beautiful or ugly isn't a prerequisite to having any anxiety. Anxiety comes from many different things. You'd have to be inhuman not to have had anxiety at least once.
    I'm here if you need anything.
     
  4. Louis03

    Louis03 Well-Known Member

    Well, I agree the sadness can affect you badly. You have to guard yourself a bit from that I think because if coming on the forums is just getting you down it's not good. I think there are a lot of nice people here, often the nicest and most intelligent are the ones who have troubling coping socially. So, it's positive and negative things in these forums.

    Me I have pretty bleak outlook on life and things. I guess I'm kind of a depressing guy but I can't change that. I try to give encouragement and positive messages though.