I think that in being a part of online communities- created to help people overcome their struggles- I've actually become an even more negative person. I hate myself. I hate everything about myself... Not only that- but I've been questioned as to how I could call myself a person with social anxieties if I consider myself an actress/model... because apparently 'beautiful people' (though I am not beautiful in the least) can't be anxious in social situations. Seeing people flame and gang up on other people; judging them and dissecting every little thing they say in posts... that's the fucking reason that I don't go in public. I thought these communities were about supporting eachother- not calling them out and giving people shit for posting something when they're feeling down. It may not have been this forum; but I'll admit that I've been triggered by alot of things that most people wouldn't consider to be triggering. Any time I read someone's post- and they are in pain; I feel that pain as though it were inflicted on myself. I understand that people on these forums are in pain and all different people with different attitudes; in different stages of recovery... but I am in pain constantly; and I try my best to always be positive when it comes to other people who need my help. Not everyone can be like me, I guess... I am the only moron who gives and never takes -___- but I've given away all of the hope that I had, and now I just want to be gone. I can't do anything... I can't work, I can't leave my room, I can't look at myself in a mirror... I just want to die. I will always be like this as long as I hate myself... and unfortunately-- these places that were designed to help me feel differently and feel comfort in knowing that people were like me are actually making me feel worse about myself.